Patent Blanks

5 Letting Earth Live

The leftover eyeshadow and eyeliner still staining my eyes is smudged more than it already was from the shower. I tried to clean it up before going to get food. I texted Roche, thanking him for the money with a pixel heart.

I walked downstairs, trying my hardest to hide from my mother. I didn't need her lecturing, not right now. I wanted nothing more than to just disappear.

I slipped out the garage door, opening the garage and getting out before my mom or dad could come there and ask where I where I'm going.

Mrs. Cheng was standing in her front yard, instantly coming over to harass me.

"Was Roche at your house? Why are you leaving out my son? Who do you think you are?" She asked, with a disgusted look on her face.

I wanted to just ignore her, but I knew if I did she'd do something stupid.

"No, he wasn't. I'm not leaving Xiao out, he's my best friend. And I know my place, do you?" I said, getting in my car, backing out of the driveway.

She gave me a mean look as I left the neighbourhood, having to decide what I even want to eat. It was around this time I remembered I didn't get to kiss Roche goodbye.

I got somewhat sad, deciding to go to a fast food place with breakfast. It was around 7 at this point. I ate inside the fast food place, listening to music. My playlist got down to a nostalgic song, it was the song Me, Roche, and XiXi sung in a talent show in like 3rd grade.

I sat there listening to it, eating slowly. My memories seemed so clear in that moment despite blocking so much of it out. I felt like my life was unreal, thinking over how much time had really passed in my life.

I snapped out of it, thinking 'Is this an existential crisis?' I leaned back in my seat, just breathing, wanting my brain to shut up.

Maybe in another universe I left Roche alone, and Xiao would be okay. Maybe if I went through my feelings alone, everything would be okay.

I finished eating quickly, I needed to leave, I felt the bitterness of being alone slowly rising back up in my stomach. As I left after paying my head felt light, I managed to get home before the feeling pierced me in the throat.

I stumbled as fast as I could upstairs, tripping on my long baggy pants. The bitterness was rising quickly, almost to my mouth, threatening to explode and ruin everything. I finally made it to my bathroom before I threw up everything I'd just eaten.

The burning pain in my throat increased, I sobbed as I sat curled up in a ball position against my bathtub's side, after wiping my face off. I tried to muffle my cries, I doubted anyone was home anyway.

I sat there crying for a small eternity, thinking about how cruel everything could be. I lovingly thought about my most cherished people I've ever met, Roche and XiXi don't deserve this inevitable issue.

I flinched as I heard my phone ringing, I recognised the specific voice in the ringtone.

"Roche needs you NOWW!!" It rang, the microphone on his phone peaked as he emphasised his words, making it louder.

I sprinted as fast as my weak body would let me, rapidly rummaging through my bag for my phone. I answered Roche instantly.

"Hey Miles, are you okay?" He asked, his voice sounded tired. The instant I heard his voice the pit in my stomach felt lighter and lighter, the pressure releasing just a bit, I smiled.

"I'm doing fine, don't worry about me Rockie." I coughed before I spoke, my heart feeling momentarily happy. " I'm more concerned about how XiXi is, his mom took his phone..."

"So that's why he isn't answering earlier..." Roche says. "Wanna come over? I need you right now.."

His words took a moment to process in my brain, I couldn't think he'd need me.

"Uh- Yeah! I'll be right there!" I said, we said our goodbyes, and he told me he loved me, but hung up before I could.

Mrs. Cheng luckily wasn't outside, and I could peacefully leave my driveway. I backed out of my driveway, my 9 year old car, pitying me and not breaking down. Like me.

I left my neighbourhood, everyday I went to school, I would wish I was leaving this godforsaken town. I wanted nothing more to leave and never be seen again.

The scenery of my town is samey, any midwestern town would look like mine. I breathed in the ac's air, listening to calmer songs. God I hate being sober.