Patent Blanks

7. Thunder and light

My dumb 19 year old self didn't check the weather before leaving the house. A severe storm was headed to go right over Evonne's area, so I was stuck there all night. Roche and I laid on his small bed holding each other and just talking, listening to the heavy storm outside. Before Roche got on his bed he started our playlist and we listened to it for hours before just falling asleep in each other's arms. Such a sweet memory will haunt me so later.

Roche restrained me, his arms around my side, and his hand in the pocket of my hoodie. where I held my ipod and earbuds. I find comfort in his restraint, meaning if someone tried to take me, his gently heavy arms wouldn't let me go.

"If you say you're okay, then I believe you." He said, burying his nose into my hair. I'm glad I spent so long on it now. He must think I'm doing okay.

"Don't worry about me, Rockie. You know I hate it when you worry..." I said moving my hand gently inside my hoodie pocket, slithering my hand onto his. Intertwining our fingers silently.

"I'll worry either way, I love you..." He said quietly, blurting out that I love you right as I touched his hand. I loved that he would make it known that he thinks of me, even when we're just doing our own things. It makes me feel more important to him than anyone in the universe. I'd like to keep it that way.

We existed, just lovingly speaking to each other for some kind of silence from our heads. Roche squeezed me harder, if that was even possible. His legs got even more tangled into mine. Roche is one for physical comfort, this is the happiest he's seemed in months. I love his bluntness sometimes. Other times it makes me want to bash my head into a thin needle nail bed. my head can't handle another reminder that our relationship will go nowhere.

I just cry in the end like that. He breathed heavily just like he does when he's asleep, it is the cutest thing I think I've ever felt. His body was built bigger than mine, he was basically entrapping me into his embrace. I accepted such affection, despite being used to such different love.

The heavy rain already muffled our voices so bad we could barely hear each other speaking, but it just poured more. It was cold inside Roche's room, hazy smoke all over the air, he had incense burning as we smoked before laying down. I love how hazy his room looks, there's something everywhere. Not in the dirty cluttered way, in the holy shit I love the amount of stuff this person has accumulated in life. It's utterly amazing.

Roche softly kissed the top of my head, then moved his head back down, seemingly going to sleep. I fell asleep not long after, again one of the best sleeps I've ever had.

Hating everything about my life but him made it so much easier to give him all of my love.

* * *

The morning came earlier than I'd ever wanted. I woke up to the sound of my mom calling me, I just hoped she didn't lecture me now or when I got home.

"Emile Everette Rozelm, where are you??" I sighed hearing my full name, my mother is much more reasonable than Xixi's mom, but she's still crazy.

"I'm at Roche's Dad's house, I'm okay." I said, looking over at Roche, still sleeping so happily, holding onto my waist as I sat up.

"You know what I said about telling me where you're going"

"I know, I'm sorry I forgot." I replied, looking out the window, rain still trickling on the ground. The sound mixed with Roche being so clingy kept me at peace trying to talk to her.

"Just... be home before school." I assumed she'd been drunk or something.

"I graduated mom." I said as she hung up. She's never really listened to me at all.