Bad Choices Have Reason

5. APPRECIATION

APPRECIATION is something that everyone need to move forward in their life, we all expect form everyone to APPRECIATION us for what we do even if it's on little basis, ONE APPRECIATION means a lot... but do we get it always? or the way we want? APPRECIATION makes us feel worth it but NO APPRECIATION us feel we are good for nothing...

"I thought you were different from others but..." he was saying but I started to laughing in between and said "Ridge...and I thought that your brother was different from others...but he also proved me wrong so, balance now..." he made a grumpy face but said "you deserved to be alone miss Abby" he said "and your brother deserve a better one, I don't care how much pain someone gave to me, at the end I always forgive him for rest" I said and started to leave "one day will come...when you will be left alone by everyone that you loved and no one will love you till your last breath" he said again I turned around "every story has different angles and every problem has different way to solve it... so don't get into conclusion so early kid..." I turned back "you are nothing..."

"you are no one to tell me that what to see or what not to... you can never
be happy remember my words...GOODBYE..." he bows down and left without saying another word I know what he thinks or might think; he might felt really relief by saying what is in his heart...but where could say what I want to? I went back home, when I entered my house "wasn't it pretty late?" mom asked "it's only 8" I said and going to my room "only 8? It's dark outside right" mom said angrily "oh plz don't started again I already gave the answer" I said and started leaving but she stopped me again "you won't die if you will say it again when I said it nicely you should reply it nicely back right?" I try to be patient "I said it could be late a little and now I am an elder" she got surprised "if you are ELDER then also you can't talk back to your mom, haven't I taught you that" then dad also started "you should stop participating in these stupid fest and focus on studies" mom supported "yes honey she just won 15th position in something" I replied "drawing" she ignored "yes...she should do something in that she could at least get something good"

Then I heard dad mumbling that "home was nice before she came" then he said "exactly and you should get at least above 90 only then there is a fact of studying" again mom supported him and said "we are not forcing you to get 100 out of 100 but your dad is right..." and I said "I am trying..." he immediately cut in and said "you should not try you should work hard for that" I was saying "I am..." now mom cut in "no you don't, you just write all your non-sense story you made who read that kind of story now were days" and dad supported "yes if you didn't get more than 90 I will delete all your stupid stories and take your phone away..." without saying a word, I went inside the room and closed the door "all we say is for your own good..." mom said "kids of now were days are so weak and annoying" dad said they both left my tears finally left my eyes though my face and fell on my teddy bear and pillow

You said only for my good congratulation you have a daughter who lie 24/7 and don't feel comfortable to talk with you... you are taking my happiness, my love and my courage away and doing this for my own good... I kill my happiness to make you happy but you never ever thought of giving me love or an appreciation from my any work even if it's studies...and lost everything for your love...don't I deserve that much?... I stood up and face toward the wall and (you are good for nothing!! Why he even like you!! You are just burden!! You are good for nothing!! You are stupid he dump you!! Every one hate you!!) I screamed (silently) and punch my right hand on the wall (she is young we can't make her feel that she is alone) punch my left (leave her alone she will be okay) punch right (we know that you will understand after sometime...) (was I never young was I mature from the beginning)

Punch left (if no we will understand her then she could go in depression)
punch right (your sis is so fast learner you didn't even started that time) punch left (appreciation gives kid courage to improve) (don't I need APPRECIATION to improve) punch right (just let the next one read you are too slow) punch left (oh you did good but it could be better) punch right (loser you can't fight for yourself) (I am scared for my future and my parent's reputation that's why I never fight back) punch right (you should understand her because she is sick) punch left (why are you screaming at her because I am sick but you are elder) punch right (why are you so angry today? what wrong? I am sick so what...) (I don't deserve to be sick like you understand her why not me...) punch left (you are a bad luck in love...) punch right (you are rude... unkind... hated by every) punch left (you are so annoying to talk) (yes I am but you never know why I become like this...) punch my right one more time and it started bleeding...

Why did I love you why did I trust you why did... forget what I can only do is to put a smile on my face I don't understand if someone can choke someone to death who he loved him/her the most... then he should have just kill me there only, I hate to suffer every day...? I don't remember when I fell asleep, next day my dream breaks with a notification sound; I saw the phone where there was reopening of admission in hostel so, I directly come to my parents and said "I want to go to college hostel" they both were shocked "why so suddenly?" mom asked "because I want to focus on studies that could be done by staying close to school library" I said "but the admission is already closed... dear" dad said and I shown them the phone advertisement "so now I can go...right and unfortunately now you can't say I am young..." I said and they finally agreed and the very next day I started packing.

A week after I was standing in front of the gate of the Hostel "YONA...
INTERNATIONAL...UNIVERSITY...HOSTEL..." I spelled what was write on the sigh board on the entrance I am finally out of my whole stress of home and now I think I shouldn't be too excited because there could be problem like who could be my roommate or we dislike my place because of unlike choosed but now I can't turn back I have to because I don't want my happiness to be more sacrificed for my studies there will be no one to stop me or tell me what to do... really I am hoping for that only plz no more complication in my life...let's go inside "here is your room number" receptionist said "thanks" I said and left for the room "34...6" this is the room I was little nervous for it but I opened the door and I was surprise by seeing... "you..."