When Two Worlds Collide Continuation

Chapter 42

BRIONNA P.O.V.

Why are you here right now?! I asked opening my door as James banged on it. "My kids are sleeping and your banging like the police!"

He held a paper up damn near shoving it in my hands. It was a paper with his test results from getting STD tested. "You got tested?"

Yeah...do you trust me now?

James you come to my house at 9 at night to show me some bum ass test results!

Yeah......

If you don't get the fuck out my face! I shoved the paper back in his chest and was about to close the door when he stopped me.

What the fuck do I have to do to get you back like fuckin seriously? Brionna I'm about to fuckin go crazy and start tweaking the fuck out. You want me to burn this whole city down cause I fuckin will!

For what? You made your bed and now you can't lay in it? You made your mind up when you did what you did. You KNEW the consequences there was when you chose to step out. And you want me to just forgive you because you're oh so sorry?! Hell no! And pressuring me to take you back damn sure ain't gone get me to do a damn thing besides make me mad and keep dwelling on the simple fact that you did what you did.

I'm not tryna pressure you, I'm tryna save my marriage I wanna come back home, I wanna show you how much I love you, and how sorry I am because I made a fuckin mistake.

James what did you learn from this? Like seriously..

To not cheat on you!

That's what you learned? Bye, move bye!

What?! Why the fuck am I not good enough for you?

Oh now you asking questions that I asked myself! Never have I ever fuckin made it seem like you wasn't good enough for me in anyway shape or form! I treated you like a fuckin king! I've been begging you to love me unconditionally since the beginning.

And I have!

No James you have not! There's so many times I can't even count on why I asked what is wrong with me, why don't you love me, where am I going wrong, what do I have to do for you to love me like I love you. And for so long I always felt like you've only stayed because of the kids. Because you didn't want them growing up in broken homes like we both did. I can take a lot of things but cheating won't be one of them! I gave you my all day in and day out. I don't deserve that because never in a million years would I have ever put another man before you, gave him my body, something so sacred the one thing that no one else can have, something that belong to you and only you. Something that can never make the next person laugh at you, or embarrass you about. I think so highly of you and I value you to the point no man in this world on earth besides God is above you. And you gave that up, you degraded, you lowered your standards. You didn't even try to hold off this is something you been wanting to do that was just your opportunity so you took it. (I wiped my tears and took a deep breath.)

You right, I did wanna cheat...it's been a few times where I'd be like damn she got a fat ass or want to fuck on a bitch that tried me. Since the beginning I been fighting urges to cheat. I never been a faithful nigga in my entire life. Any bitch I ever felt with I cheated on. Every single time I thought about cheating on you it's like the thought of losing you smacked me back to reality and I couldn't handle the fact that if I ever lost you so I never did the shit. I honestly can not tell you at all what came over me when I did fuck that girl. You wanna know how I felt after that? Like how a alcoholic would feel once he done sobered up, still mad, sad, depressed. And fuckin regretful! I laid there all night thinking about what I did and how that shit was gone hurt you. The grass is never greener on the other side. And the one thing I've been scared of the past 12 years of losing you happened....