When Luna's only parent sadly passes away, she moves in with her older brother and starts a new life in Barcelona. Yet it isn't easy. Because how can you move on with your life when your only parent just passed away and your life has yet not started...
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Anna had called me this morning to thank for these two months that I agreed on. The contract ended today and she invited me to a meeting but I said I was busy the whole work due to exams. But I just didn't want to meet him.
I ran away from the kiss and I have ignored him since then. I tried to stay home as much as possible to avoid seeing him but I knew that I would eventually see him.
It's not even that I was angry at him or anything. Because that kiss meant something for me as well. Throughout these two months he had become closer to me like no other. But if I continued to let my emotions control myself I would end up in his arms. Which I couldn't let happen. This needed to be logical.
I have had two other exes that left me directly after we started a relationship. When I told them about my past. And how I struggled. I can't let that happen again. I can't let someone come near me and in the end I'd lose them either way. I can't let a boy or man near me. Gavira would leave me either way. The same way that my father left me. He just doesn't know.
That's logical and that's what I'm holding into even though I want to meet him. I want to tease him and I want him to tease me. It was our jargon.
—
"open the door, Ortega". He was outside waiting for me to open the door but I just stood there. "I know you are inside there" he added then. Fuck. I went over to the door and opened it finally. And there he stood, good looking as usual, unfortunately. "hey" I said as if nothing had happened the last week. As if we didn't kiss and as is I haven't ignored him. "finally, why have you been ignoring me?" He asked.
Straight to the point? Huh?
"I haven't..just a lot with university" I said to him. And I think both of us knew that, that was a lie. But he didn't confront me. "we need to talk" he then said.
This was what I was running from.
"I-..there is nothing to talk about, Gavira" I replied. His glance changed slightly but he remained calm. He was still standing in front of me which made it even harder to not make eye contact. "what are you afraid of so much?" He asked.
He, out of everyone, noticed it?
"I'm not. Maybe I just don't want the same things as you" I replied to him. I didn't want to make him sad or upset but that was my only way out. This was the only way to make him less disappointed in me then if I had done things the other way around. "Luna, I'm pretty sure that you would yell at me if you didn't want the same thing as me" he said using my surname. He never does that and pretty much never has.
I just started to like my name a little bit more.
"I can't". "why?" he asked me. He didn't try to break eye contact with me while I looked away several times. He watched my gaze the whole time. "this won't work. So don't even start anything." I said to him and something inside him disappeared.
His hope of us may just have disappeared.
"i don't understand. Why did you let me kiss you then?" The question came out of his mouth quicker than I expected. "it was wrong of me, I know. Won't let that happen again" I said while faking a smile to avoid the awkwardness. But his smile didn't come through. "So, we'll just leave it like that? Everything is over now?" He asked me and this was probably for the last time. "Yes." I respond without showing any further emotions. He just looks at me and then leaves and I don't blame him. He has every right to be angry at me, to not want to see me and to hate me.
I guess that's something familiar for me by now.
—
"I have been thinking on one thing" I tell Elías as he was sitting and eating while I was just watching my series on Netflix. "Yeah?" He looks up at me waiting for me to answer. I hope I'm doing the right thing right now. "I want to move back to Seville" I say and Elías choke from the bite he took and gets shocked. "What?"
"I want to finish my studies there" I say again. "is this because of Pablo? Because if it is, I swear I will go and-" I interrupt him. "no, he has nothing to do with my decision. I just don't think I want to live here, right now" I tell him. "I started my studies there and want to finish my upcoming last year, there" I add.
My birthday was in 2 months and I would be done studying next year when I'm 21. Maybe after that I'll come back. And when I'am back I will live in my apartment with Ace. Without needing to meet Gavira all the time even though I'll probably never forget him. Not in just one year.
"you are almost 20. I can't always be the protective older brother to you, so do what you want, Luna. Will you rent an apartment or?.." he asked me. I smiled knowing that he was my brother. "I will live in the house" I reply to him.
In the very same house where both of us were grown up in. In the same house which holds lots of good memories of us and in which my mother died.
