What If

XI

Road, bushes, trees, houses, daylight... the sun is setting. The familiarity I am feeling towards this place is something else. I did not take any type of step, I do not want to move. I don't know, but I have this feeling that something will happen.. but what? A feeling is not always enough. I know that.

I just seem to be staring at a child who's playing menacingly happy. Running along the road every time a vehicle will cross. But why? I do not hear a single word, yet she looks like shes laughing, enjoying what she's doing. But why is she laughing? Is it fun to play with death?

I turned my glance on another kid reaching on her way... But another vehicle is coming. He looks like that kid is trying to stop the other one. It seems like he's shouting something. The little girl, however, just beamed at him and continued with her game. But as she did, the coming vehicle just seems a little faster than the others.

I was about to reach for her but her friend pushed her away. She ended up at the side of the road and the who was hit was her friend. Then it rains. What's up with rain?? Why do it seems like it always fall deliberately when there is something in happening in life?

It is always like that. In movies, series, dramas, and now even in life. The thing is, one cannot actually tell if what's happening is supposed to be happy, or sad, or tragic or just a sudden change. Every time it rains, it feels like it's mourning with you, or celebrating with you. Sharing your joy or your sorrow. It is always those two, never in between. Then there will be a time when you just question its arrival.

I gazed at the child thrown at the side... I'm expecting her to cry. But she didn't. What she did was just to look around... and to my surprise, look at me. She's turned her attention to me. There's something in her eyes as she stare and I stared back. Like she's saying without words that this is hurtful, it is hurting her, but she doesn't know how to react to that kind of pain. That she now know how it felt, now she understand the depths of such feelings. One thing is, she's smiling.

The one thing about a smile, you do not know when to trust it.

"I do not know how long the time they'd given us. Not know when will it end nor really start. But there is one thing I know, the poison you've brought to yourself is about to begin."

"You don't know when will the venom of death takes place."

I KNOW I'M ALREADY AWAKE. But I do not want to open my eyes. My eyelids feel heavy over my eyeballs. It feels like they fused together and I cannot force them to open for me! I feel so weak! It feels like I've slept for a week, but I still feel as if I am very tired!

I frowned and groaned as I forced my body to sit up, my eyes still held shut. I tried shaking my shoulders as well as move my head in certain angles just to try if I could. Rest assured, I can. It took me a whole minute to convince myself it is time to open my eyes as forceful as I could and look around. As I do not feel anywhere near my room, or the people I was with a few moments ago.

But then the one that greeted my sight the moment it saw light was a man sitting at a chair near the bed, almost hovering, even. I stared at him as he stared back at me. Stare so strange I could not sense anything behind those eyes. Not that I could claim I have from anybody else. But still, those eyes looked back at me as if there is nothing running behind those dark almost black eyes he has. The depths of it I cannot swim even if I tried.