Affections

{7}

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As a being of indecision, trust me when I make one, that it's accurate. I will never audition for cheerleading. I'm aware it is the sunshine in most people's dark days, but not mine.
I don't have anything personal against it but we would always agree in life that my truth may be your denial.

A soul is different from the other, every spirit is unique.

That is why I believe cheerleading isn't farfetched from choreography. You'd wear light clothes and move with the sounds of delight.

But in certain players' minds, that would be the opposite; they'd appreciate the colors, the show of skin, the flirtatious smile, and the promise of a future.

On the other hand, I've always wanted to find out what it would mean for a girl to play. It had always been one of my fantasies.

You dream for a reason I once believed, but now full of uncertainty, I feel like this dream stepped on the wrong porch.

These are the things I think about watching from the bleachers: the cheerleaders practicing and the-haired being glared down by the coach. Much to the amusement of others including myself.

The look fit him; it always sets me off; the thought that a boy as cute as he is would add to his dilemma.

He's a sight but not as much as the captain is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, eyes agreed with the sight of Vonn, but sanity didn't.

I like to sit out here, the weather cloudy, watching the lives of others and stalling mine.
I couldn't imagine what my stepfather would do once I set foot in the house. Terrified and confused, I convinced Beatrice to head home.

My time here may give me the stomach to face it all like I always do. The boys gathered together obviously in a heated chat I couldn't decipher from the whips of the wind.

Suddenly, He turned, and they all did, too. Overtaken by surprise and exhaustion, heat crept into my face. I pushed my hoodie over my hair and forced my shoes onto the wood beneath.

I wasn't the only one sitting here; there were other students, a boy behind who wouldn't stop bragging about how he had done better work as a coach in his previous.

So loud, noise should be enough cover; why are they all staring at me? They all looked away, but he didn't shift his gaze; he made me want to run off the bleachers. I would rather run into my death than stand his stare any further. Earlier that day, he expressed concern for me, but I knew.

I knew how he resented me; he, Bellamy Vonn, was always willing to go the extra mile of getting my guard down only to hurt me further.

Only to reopen the scar. Even in his stare, he couldn't bury the desire to haunt my life.

Finally, he looked away, I drew in a long-needed breath.

They subtly passed the ball around until the booming voice of the coach cascaded over the field. They picked up the pace, playing in a dual format.

Soon, the rain pattered down, soaking my hair, and the feel of my shoe was too sticky to bear.

I pulled my bag up, knowing I had to leave, and noticed the cheerleading practice was over. I walked off toward the school; once in the building, some girl huddled at the exit. Didn't even look like they were ready to move anytime soon.

"Hi weirdo, I don't buy into your new girl facade." I shrugged at her snarl.

"At least I know you aren't as dumb as I thought," I replied, smiling cheekily at her surprise.