Affections

{12}

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He stared at me, with anger. I knew I was about to make the greatest mistake of my life.

It'll hurt or make me. Break or scatter me abroad. I can't do this.

I can't; I looked to Beatrice for help, but for the first time in two weeks. She was speechless.

My father always tried to teach me, that the universe is on my side. I got up on the couch; where was it when you needed it?

Maybe I deserved everything coming to me. But I will go down without a fight. They all watched me quiver with fear.

I brushed my fingers through my hair, zeroing my eyes on him. Adjusted my dress and went to him. His eyes remaining on me caused me an anxiety attack.

A firm glare remained. I straddled him and felt his hair in my hair. Breathing the same air as him. Numbing the sound of my heartbeat.

I sucked his lower lip and licked softly, with no response from him. I felt his fingers trailing my thighs firmly.

Then he kissed me; I responded with a fever, cursing through. His hand curled my neck pulling me closer.

His kisses now filled with hunger, emotionally wrecked me. I loved every minute and I hated it too.

Knowing I've destroyed everything. I pulled away as quickly as I could.

He looked up at me, and I backed away, running through the door. I felt Beatrice run after me. She cut me on the porch and wrapped her arms around me. I choked on my subs.

She pulled me towards her car. We got in and she drove me straight home.

"Miranda, it's okay. Wanna talk?"

"No."

"What happened between you two?"
She parked meters from my house. If I didn't tell her, I'll suffer alone.

"It.. I don't know where to start."
I lipped my lips, but his taste still lingered.

She smiled, "Start anywhere babe."

"When my mom married Ronald," I stopped to catch my breath.

"I hated him, he knew it. He always wanted something from me. Then he physically abused my mother in the presence of his children. It hurt so much. My life was hell at the house. But a fantasy at school. He was always there." I smiled out the window.

"Our friendship turned into something more at the age of twelve. Maybe thirteen, I liked him. Ronald found out about him. He threatened to hurt him. If… I didn't stop seeing him.

I'd reported over a thousand times to the police what he did, but nobody came. So I thought if he could silence the police. The police!

I couldn't risk it. I told him that he should stay away from…me. He didn't listen when I tried to ignore him. He pulled me away, trying to pull out an explanation I couldn't give him.

So I said hurtful things to him. I was sure my words broke him. I broke him. But if that's what it took for him to be okay, then I'd gladly forget."

She pulled me into her and used her sleeves to wipe my tears.
"I want to forget him…" I looked up to her and she nodded in understanding.

"For my sake, for my mother's sake. I just need to figure out what to do about Ronald. And quickly."

We stayed silent. "One thing I've learned is that even the pillar has a breaking point," she said sternly.