Affections

{14}

©All rights reserved©

With skepticism taking hold of my mind, I confided in Carl about the harsh realities of my life.

Now He and Beatrice knew. I began to worry I was slipping. I needed to talk to someone or I might just… I had no idea.

At that moment, I thought about the dread I felt pushing Bellamy away when I could have just told him the truth.

I long kept away from people, thinking they were nothing but sweet distractions, not knowing they were the strongest solutions.

Carl sighed; he didn't know where to begin. I could with the opening and closing of his mouth.

We gazed at each other through the rearview mirror in serene silence.

Soon he muttered, "I'm sorry."

I smiled, looking out the window where we were still parked at Beatrice's. I couldn't seem to grasp why my eyes burned. The words seem to trigger all my bottled anger.

I sniffed, "It's not your fault, Carl."
He took hold of my hand, and I wished I'd had a brother all along.

"I mean, I'm okay. Now I guess." I thought of how life was two weeks before I met Beatrice or she met me.
Before Carl, Jake, Alec. Finally talking to Bellamy. They made it all better without even taking the wound away.

"You don't know what you guys mean to me." I sobbed gazing at him. His reckless blonde, cute smile.

He had a charm that made people finally let go. Beatrice and I had finally let go.

He didn't pull me into a hug I desired for the first time. He ruffled my hair, and I chuckled looking away.

"You're a strong girl, Miranda, that's why I won't lie to you. I won't tell you it'll get better. Cause it won't until you handle it.

And I won't cuddle you, 'cause you don't need it. You can handle this, we all can."

Then I understood that He believed in me. So did Bellamy, that's why he never apologized once.

"So mini, where to?" I groaned, it was so embarrassing.

"I've told you to stop calling me!"

"Or we could just sit here." My phone dinged. I looked down at my phone opening the text.

Mom: Honey, I understand you don't want to come with me. It's okay. So see you at home.

"Carl, I think I know where to." He drove into the city's hospital.

"What are we doing here?" I got down and looked back at him.

"No Carl, Just me. You have to head home." He smiled. It was past five.

He got the point. "Okay."

Watching his car reverse out of the parking lot. I went to the counter to meet a nurse.

"Good afternoon?"

"Afternoon dear, what can I do for you?"

"I'm here to see Katie Basil."

"Oh, you must be the sister?"

"I guess so…" She typed into the computer with rapt attention.

"Alright, room 62." I skidded slowly toward the said room, having been here before.

I stopped my mom through the glass doors sitting next to bed. Katie lying there lifeless. I felt…nothing.

I had no idea what to feel. Nevertheless, I want to see her awaken. With that thought, I went into the room.