Afterlife: Oblivion #Wattys2024

02. Fifty Shades of Decay

POV Jane Doe.

The never-ending hallway stretches out before me, a sterile and lonely path illuminated only by flickering lights. As I walk, I can't help but feel like a cliché white girl in a horror movie, except instead of dying at the hands of some masked killer, I'm just trying to find my way because the receptionist with her absurdly long nails has given me half-assed directions. Might as well be dead already. But wait, it could always get worse.

"You must be Jane," a voice says behind me.

I scream and turn around, ready to defend myself with my beat-up sneakers. Turns out, no one is there. Great. Slowly turning back, I continue on my journey to wherever the hell I'm supposed to go, only to scream again and almost trip over myself.

"Are you alright, Jane?"

Ugh, not even close, buddy.

The man in front of me has hair blonder than a Disney princess and eyes that remind me of my own before life sucked the brightness out of them. His obnoxious Simon Cowell grin makes me want to punch him straight in his expensive, probably designer face. And don't even get me started on his fancy clipboard and tailored suit that could fund my existence for a year.

Oh, and those shoes? Definitely made from real snakeskin. Sicko.

"Jesus CHRIST," I exclaim, trying to regain my composure. "Could you have given me a warning before creeping up on me like that... you weirdo with your snake shoes."

He just shrugs, nonchalant as ever. "Oh, did Eve not tell you I'd be waiting for you here?"

I mentally curse out Eve, the receptionist who probably gets off on people being caught off guard. Another name to add to the list of signatures on my shoe - if I end up in hell, at least I will know who to look for.

"And just so we're clear," he declares in a pompous tone, "it's The Gatekeeper."

I can't resist flipping him off as he turns away. But of course, he catches me and shoots back the same look I have been giving him all this time - the universal sign for 'fuck off'.

"I didn't ask," I fire back with zero fucks given.

"Charming... You must have a lot of questions," he drawls, his smirk growing more irritating by the second.

"A lot is an understatement," I reply dryly, rolling my eyes.

"Well, they'll be answered in due time."

"Great, just what every dead person wants to hear," I mutter sarcastically under my breath.

But of course, I still have to wait for this date with death. "Not much longer," he reassures me. "I'm here to take you to your second date with Fate."

"Hopefully there's wine this time," I quip, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, we'll be heading to your dressing room first," he informs me as we start walking.

"Dressing room?" I scoff. "What, am I supposed to put on a fancy gown before facing death again?"

"Yes, and we must be quick because you're late," he says with a hint of annoyance.

I let out a sarcastic snicker as I survey my surroundings. "Late to my own date with death? How fitting."

The Gatekeeper gives me a stern look, clearly not amused by my lack of punctuality. "Well, last time you were early. You can't even die correctly."

"Sounds like someone who knows the struggle," I quip, earning myself an even more disapproving glare. I can't help but wonder how he had ended up in this role - maybe he had been murdered too, judging by his smug demeanor. And then it hits me - maybe that was why I was here too. Because let's face it, I might have been a bitch in life, but at least I owned it.