I wake up next to Austin on the couch, we fell asleep while watching Pitch Perfect. I silently left the couch to my bathroom, I shade to wash the smell of depression off my body. After I took my shower I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I'm ugly. I always have been, so why does Austin like me? But why doesn't he love me? I shake the thought from my head and get dressed: Light wash jeans, black tank top and Ugg boots (I know a total white girl). I actually wanted to go somewhere today. I peek downstairs to see Austin is still sound asleep, so I decided to re-dye my hair. While my hair color was setting I grabbed my sketch book and returned to the couch. Call it creepy, but I was drawing him while he was sleeping. I was almost done when I realized he was waking up, I quickly turned the page and pretended to work on something else.
"Good morning", he rasped.
"Morning", I replied with an accidental snotty tone.
He looked at me,"Listen, about last night. I'm sorry but I can't hurt you like that."
"Its not about that!", I yelled,"let me ask you something, how long have we known each other?"
"I dunno, like three, maybe four weeks."
"In those four weeks you stopped smoking because of me, saved my life, tools me on a date and not to mention we kissed two times. Listen, art is my world and today I'm blowing off an interview with a very important person in the art industry. All to hang out with you, I'm giving up my dream to be with you."
He stood up,"We've known each other for a while,and not one time you mentioned art to me. Obviously if you loved art, you would talk about it 24/7. So why do I feel like art isn't your dream...Maybe its someone else's?"
I swear I stopped breathing. Before my mom walked out on me and my dad, she trained me to make other people happy. Doing art made my father happy, I mean art is fun but sometimes I want to try something different.
"Its my parents dream, not mine", I said looking down. I heard him sigh, then I felt his warm hands on my face.
"Do what makes you happy, what makes you happy?"
I hesitated,"You."
I looked up to see him smiling at me,"You make me happy too."
This is it, I'm gonna tell him I love him.
"Austin," I spat out,"I-" love you,"really like you."
I clammed up, dang.
"Nikki, I really like you too."
I smiled, I loved him but I don't know if I can tell him yet.
He sighs,"By the way, why is there paint on your hair?"
I laughted remembering that I still had hair dye on my head.
I playfully punched his arm then ran upstairs to wash out my "paint" hair. Today I'm actually going to do something with the boy I love.
