Cringy One Direction Oneshots

Just Your Average Thursday

A/N: Yep, the good ol' y/n getting sold by her mother to the British/Irish famous boyband.

I woke up in the morning feeling absolutely amazing, despite all the atrocities that revolved around my life. My father, brother, sister, nephew, gold fish, grandma, and pet rock died from a major pile-up caused by a loose logging truck on a busy interstate highway. (You should get the reference.) At three days old, I was heartbroken. I'd never be the same girl ever again.

Standing only at 5'3, despite being 17, my abusive mother had resorted to calling me her "mutilated leprechaun." Safe to say I wasn't very fond of the nickname.

Picking myself out of bed, I heard my mother roar for me from down the stairs. "Y/n, you better get your ass down here this instant! We have guests coming soon!" Guests? Mom doesn't have any friends, so this was a little confusing, to say the least. Ignoring her, because I'm just so quirky and not like other girls, I threw my y/c/h in a messy bun and put on a lazy day outfit.

I trudged my way down the stairs and finally made it to the breakfast table where I could basically see my mother fuming with rage. "You disappointment! You can't follow even basic simple rules, can you?!" She yelled in my face before backhanding me.

My 3'3 body flung across the table, sending my body crashing into a chair, making it splinter, the shards penetrating my skin. But since I'm perfect and petite, no injury was present. Though, it sure felt like that had broken every rib in my body. She then hurled a half broken beer bottle at me. She missed, but the remaining glass shattered near my face.

I weakly pulled myself back to the table, where I began to munch on week old Eggo waffles I found beneath the couch cushions in the living room. They were my favorite. As I continued to chew on the leathery material mindlessly, I heard my mother distantly conversing with some unknown people. I rolled my eyes until I heard someone speak.

"Ello, luv."

I choked on my Eggo waffle. As my vision blurred, I saw someone rush over and perform the heimlich maneuver on me. The leathery food went flying out of my mouth, and onto the ceiling, where it didn't fall from, it just stuck on there like a fly to a fly trap.

My mouth stood agape while I looked at the four dudes in front of me, and the tallest one standing next to me, looking at me as if I was some mutant. We just maintained awkward eye contact for around 45 seconds, none of us saying a word. Eventually, one with little to no hair spoke up, striking up a conversation with my mother. "So this is the one? She's awfully scrawny." He cringed, looking at me and back to my mother.

I looked at him slightly offended. "Well, at least I have hair." I spat at him. He ignored my comment.

Then Blondie spoke up. "Well, Liam, considering the economy today, we're lucky we even managed to get her." He rolled his eyes at him. I didn't know whether to be thankful or offended. I decided just to keep my mouth shut instead.

The one standing next to me squinted at me and then back to his bandmates. "You'll get used to them. I promise, they don't bite." I looked at him concerned, not knowing how I should interpret that sentence. He continued, "Well, I don't want to be here forever. Liam, do me a favor and go throw whatever things that look useful from her room into that suitcase we brought with us." Liam rolled his eyes but obliged.

I just watched as he trudged up the stairs into presumably my room to gather things that he deemed 'important'. It's not like I had much to begin with, so I was curious about what he was going to grab. In the meantime, while he was doing that, my eyes traced the people my mother sold me to.

They didn't look all that threatening, but then again, looks can be deceiving. "So uh, what exactly are your plans for me?" Blondie just smiled at me and said, "Easy. You'll be our maid." I stared at them dumbfounded. Me, a maid? No way, no how.

I waited a few moments while they were all distracted. When no one was paying attention, I made a beeline for the front door. I think I'd rather die first than be a maid. I don't care if it's for One Direction or not.

Before I left, though, I caught a slight glimpse of Harry shaking his head in annoyance. I then heard him yell up the stairs, "Liam, she's escaping! Can you get her, please?" A quick response came next. "Oh, for crying out loud, Harry. I leave for five minutes, and you can't even keep track of the new maid!" Harry paused, "Sorry..."

I then heard quick footsteps. Uh oh. I tried running faster, but like I said, I'm only 5'3, so it's not like I could make it very far. Someone then tackled me, and we skid across the neighbors grass lawn, tearing it up. Looking like I had just attempted to golf. "Ow." I muttered. Liam sarcastically replied, "Well, maybe next time, don't try running. Or if Harry could just keep an eye out for once in his life." He sounded more mad at him than he did at me.

"Let's not waste any more time. We're going to have guests over soon, so we'll need you to start cleaning." And with that, Liam swiftly picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I gasped, "Put me down!" I shouted and tried to squirm out of his arms, but it was pointless. He was too strong. "Boys! I got the girl! Time to go," Liam said as he plopped me into the trunk of their car before slamming it down. The rest of the boys piled in after him. I sighed and accepted my fate. I looked out the trunk window and waved goodbye to my mom and yelled that I loved her for what could be the last time. She put up her middle finger and snickered before walking back inside. What did I expect?

"Maid, what's your name? Unless you want us to keep calling you 'the girl'," blondie said.

"Y/n," I sniffled. I didn't bother looking at him. I heard a collective group of hums in response, signaling they had heard me. "Well, if I'm going to be stuck with you five, I suppose I should learn your names." I turned to face them. "You're Harry." I pointed at the one with emerald green eyes. Then I faced the one who threw me over his shoulder. "And you're Liam."

I heard Blondie quietly laugh. "She learns quickly, doesn't she, Zayn?" Zayn just nodded before saying something. "That's a good thing, Niall."

Now I know four of the five's names. That left only one. I didn't even have to ask because he beat me to it. "You're probably wondering who I am? The name is Louis!" I just scoffed, still mad with my situation.

Harry then looked at me. "Don't look so down. You're stuck with us now, so you might as well make the most of it, Y/n." I just rolled my eyes at him. "Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it."

I didn't attempt to talk to the boys for the rest of the ride to their house. I didn't know how long I sat back there. I just wanted to go home.

I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I heard the trunk door opening, startling me awake. I was met with the face of Zayn and Liam. Zayn turned his head towards Liam. "I'm not going to be the one carrying her." And then he walked away. Liam glared at Zayn but didn't say anything. And yet again, I found myself being thrown over Liam's shoulder. There wasn't a point in trying to get out, as proven earlier.

I watched the car slowly get further from me. My chance of escape dissipating.

A/N: And thus, Y/n spent the rest of her days being a maid for One Direction. Eventually, she did come to terms with her predicament, but she still holds slight resentment against them.  

Lmao, maybe we'll make a part two. 💀