I'm No Prince

Kelsey's Suspicion

Kelsey watched as Andrew skulked back into his room to eat his dinner alone. Mom and Dad weren't back yet, she'd been notified that they were having a late night in the office, and at sixteen, technically she and her brother didn't have to eat together. It still hurt Kelsey, however, that he even pulled away from her, despite how much she loved him.

Kelsey's little brother had always been a quiet boy, and she respected Andrew for that, as he knew when to keep his mouth shut, and was generally in a lot less trouble than most of the boys he hung around with. She liked how he was able to keep up with her in games, whether on a computer or actual sports. Technically, he was her twin, but she was the older one of the two, and she saw herself as a protector for him. Andrew had always seemed more delicate than Kelsey had been when they were little.

Andrew's current state of pondering was something that worried her. Kelsey had never been one to worry too much for Andrew, despite wanting to protect him. She knew that the best way to protect someone was not to remove all obstacles and problems in their way, and thus she never offered to get Andrew out of any trouble without him having to work as well. She'd learned from experience that it was better just to have someone to talk to, rather than someone who makes all of the problems disappear. Still, she did wish that she could fix Andrew's hurting heart right now, so that he didn't have to go through so much worry about who he was. Andrew was her brother, and she wasn't just going to sit by while he started losing his perception of his own worth, or as he began to think that he wasn't someone who could deal with life anymore, or whatever he was going through right now.

Kelsey was a doer, not a watcher, and so she swore to herself, she would find a way to help Andrew with whatever he needed in this period of his life. She was aware that she didn't have it all figured out, but maybe two clueless kids could figure out more than one clueless kid could. At any rate, she figured that Andrew might want to hear others' opinions soon, as he had finally gone out to hang with some of his old friends just a few days ago. Maybe he would want to see what she had to say, maybe he wouldn't, but Kelsey was going to be prepared for if he did. She wouldn't force her own thoughts onto him, that would not be right, but if he ever asked her questions, Kelsey did not want to let Andrew down with an "I don't know".

As she sat at the kitchen table, unable to bring herself to leave the familial energy she felt around the small wooden piece of furniture, she finished off her dinner in a quiet state of thought and wonder. She sat in the empty room, feeling as if she was basking in the sacred glow of memories of sixteen years worth of sibling bonds, wondering if there was anything she could remember of the young Andrew that would help her to show the older version of her brother who he was. Or at least help him discover his identity for himself, if it was possible to do in only a few hours.

Standing up to clean her spot at the table, Kelsey admitted to herself that Andrew's problems could not be solved in one night, he would have to work things out at his own pace, and she would never bring herself to rush him in his quest for self-understanding. She would simply have to do everything in her power to give Andrew the tools, and maybe even information, that he needed to find his way to the conclusion of his journey. As she scrubbed the table down, a plan formed in Kelsey's mind, remembering the fond memories she had of her and Andrew watching movies together on long days. Maybe she could help Andrew tonight, it would be a small thing, and it wouldn't give him very much help at the moment, but perhaps it could reassure him that someone was there still, and that he wasn't left alone to his fears that he had lost who he was.

Kelsey made her way to Andrew's door, and knocked softly. She heard a small shout of surprise, and the shuffling of feet as Andrew must have scrambled to keep his balance. He was a jumpy person at home, and so Kelsey was used to him being far more surprised when his family tried to spend time with him than when his friends tried to get a hold of him.

"W-what is it, Kels?" Andrew asked from his room, seemingly nervous about something. Kelsey hoped she hadn't scared him too badly.

"I was going to watch a movie in the living room, is all," Kelsey said softly, trying to put all of the gentleness she could muster from her spirit into her voice, "I just wanted to see if you'd like to come and watch it with me."

"Oh!" Andrew said in surprise, "yeah, that would be nice. But maybe later, Kels? I'm in the middle of something right now, but it would be really nice to watch a movie as soon as I'm done, if that's okay?"

Kelsey smiled as she told him that was okay with her, and that she'd start it up already, but could join her whenever he felt like it, and went to put a DVD into her family's old, beat up player. Her family wasn't the most technologically advanced in the neighborhood, as evidenced by their reliance on DVDs, but it wasn't as if their house was outdated. Kelsey and Andrew had simply always loved the way it felt to place the DVD in the player and start a show with their own two hands, and it felt even more profound to Kelsey now, to work with her own hands to place a seed of togetherness in Andrew's heart.

She'd chosen a light movie, with not very much action and plot. It was one of her and Andrew's favorite comedies, and it felt so much more fitting to watch than something serious and urgent. She wanted to place calm and peace inside of her brother, after all, so a peaceful movie belonged better in this situation than an action-packed thriller would.

The movie began, and as Kelsey situated the pillows on the couch, and left a blanket out for Andrew, if he happened to come join her, she felt as if she was beginning a journey, just like Andrew's. Hers would be different, of course, but it would be just as memorable and life changing as her brother's was. Only hers would be a journey to care for her brother and to help him through his own journey, to make sure they made it through together and happy, instead of merely alive.

It was about half an hour when Andrew finally walked into the living room, and he must've been thinking hard, because it showed in his eyes. When he saw the movie Kelsey had chosen, however, a smile stole its way onto his face and he walked straight over to the warm spot on the couch Kelsey had saved for him.

"How are you feeling?" Kelsey asked him when he got situated underneath the blanket.

"I'm doing good," Andrew replied, "just tired of asking questions that don't have definitive answers."

"I get that," Kelsey told him, "that's why it's nice that a silly little movie like this is always so predictable, especially when you've watched it a hundred times, right?"

Andrew laughed, and the sound made Kelsey feel like her nearly meaningless plan had actually begun to work out. She grinned at her brother, and they watched the movie in silence for a while, simply enjoying the company of their twin, and the familiar movie that had helped them bond so many years ago.

After an hour, Kelsey had an idea, and she felt like Andrew would love it, even if the movie didn't have that much longer left. She felt like it was another step she could take to show him that she was there, and it would be really nice for her as well. She sat up suddenly in order to twist to her side, which allowed her to look at Andrew, which shocked him, and decided to ask the question.

"Hey, Drew," she said, "wanna built a pillow castle for tonight?"

Andrew laughed, and sat up to face her better.

"Kels," he said, "that would be lovely."