Love, How does it feel?

• 14

Sidharth

I've been really bad with goodbyes. So, bidding goodbye to this hostel room felt eerily arduous. I sighed, packing my stuff when my phone rang with my mother's call.

"Yes Maa." I chirped as I could envision her smile.

"When are you coming?" She asked.

"Tomorrow morning, Maa. I will reach by 7:00 AM." I informed her as she hummed.

"You had your breakfast, right?" I groaned at her tone.

"No, Maa. I woke up late, so, I will just have my breakfast." She continued her series of words, rebuking me for how careless I was!

"Sid, I'm not listening to any of your excuses. You've been so careless with yourself these days. How would you work if you get ill? I shouldn't have listened to your words when you denied marrying Sharanya six months ago. Thank god, I've arranged your engagement sooner because only a loving wife can fix your careless lifestyle now." She continued rambling as my mind wandered off to a certain girl at the mention of 'wife'.

The same girl, whose glittering brown orbs and subtle smile mesmerised my heart just through a mere picture of her, which my mother introduced me as my to-be wife.

I never got to meet her because being a part of the traditional royal family, we can only see each other on the marriage dias, but, that yearning to see her in person never weaned off.

Around one and half years back, when her mother came to put a ring on my ring finger to seal our engagement, I remembered my face warming for the first time in my twenty seven years of existence. It felt exotic to be true.

Then, came the moment, where, her mother showed me through a video call how my mother placed my ring of my name in her fingers, though, I could clearly see how uncomfortable she looked but, shrugged it off terming it as 'shyness' and invested myself in adoring my future wife in that magenta hued ruffled princess gown.

Had I dared to read between the lines that day!

Then, one day, my bygone yearning to see her in person came true. But, that yearning too had dissipated somewhere with time, leaving me bereft of emotions.

If her running away from the wedding hurt me that day, her oblivion to the fact that I was the one she was supposed to marry broke me.

Was I that unwanted in her life?

"Alright, Maa. I'm ready to get married. Do as you wish." I whispered, releasing a deep breath, frustrated with life.

"Yes, I wasn't even going to wait for you to be ready. I am planning to get you married in the next two months." She spoke as I nodded as if agreeing to whatever life had for me.

"Okay"

"Alright, I've to cook now. I'll call you later." She expressed as I heard the chaos in the background.

"Yes, Maa." I ended the call as she forgot to decline it like always. I laughed at the thought and had my banana milkshake, while I made my bed and stacked the three of my luggage trolleys in the corner.

I will miss this room.

In the noon, I was having my lunch when my eyes unknowingly registered a familiar girl, whose picture was once enough to brim my heart and the one, who ran away before my baraat could reach her doorstep. The once upon a time reason for my peace and pain. Shruti Rawat.

As I was still drowning in all the unexpected words I heard from her last day, she was there laughing with another guy without a care of this world. That was exactly what she was, a mirage of happiness in my life, which left me chasing pain and embracing humiliations and abandonments.