The Feminizing Curse

Entry 4 / Thursday

Hello Journal, Today might have been one of the weirdest days ever. To explain, I just have to start at the beginning of my day.

I woke up thinking I was going to be ready for the day and make the team! I was so excited to jump out of bed to not notice the changes to my body like the previous days.

Once I got ready for school, that's when I noticed all of the changes.

My chest area has continued to swell, and I have now noticed that they could be mistaken for some small boobs if I didn't have a shirt on. I also felt like my clothes were not fitting very well. Upon measuring my height really quickly, I realized I went from 5 feet 11 inches to now 5 feet 8 inches. My face also looked very babyish and girly, which was not what I was expecting.

Every time I wake up, it's like something is different, but I just decided that it's puberty being weird, and I was not going to let these changes affect my day.

Today couldn't have gone any slower, and by the time the day was over and the tryouts were beginning, I was very nervous.

I went down to the field and told my coach my desired position, and he put me in a line to do warmups. Once the warmups were complete, I was instructed to do a bunch of drills. Based on our performance, we would be told if we had made it or not.

During the drills, every time it was my turn, everyone was snickering, and I was not doing very well. My athletic ability was really bad, and for some reason, I was even slower today!

After all the drills and my terrible performance, I was on the floor, wheezing from my pathetic attempts.

The coach, seeing the state I was in, thought it was pathetic and had a good idea. He told me to get up and asked my name.

Once we were doing better, he asked me if, even though I didn't have what it takes to join the team, he saw my dedication and wanted me to be the water boy.

This was actually really great news! He had explained that I get to be part of the team without actually having to play. Apparently everyone actually makes it on the team, but it more depends on whether you'll actually play or not.

So that was my day. Despite not being such a good day and being an embarrassment, at least I got to join the team, which is something I can cross off my bucket list.