It's okay.

Chapter 9

Vanny woke up in a different room than she was used to, a room that their dad must've just used for storage or something, it was the only spare room in the house Vanny  and Clara had to share it and there was only one bed so they hadto share that too. Vanny didn't mind at all because she loved Clara and she loved to be with her and it also made her feel comforted knowing that Clara was right next to her and she wasn't getting hurt somwhere else. Vanny got out of the tiny, uncomfortable bed and looked at Clara who was still asleep, she kissed Clara on the forehead and left. She grabbed one of her dad's old hoodies that was hung up by the door and went outside to the dreary, rainy, cloudy day. She wanted to go on a walk to clear her mind, even though that was impossible, nothing really cleared her mind it was always filled with all of her thoughts, all her scary, scary thoughts that she tried to not think but she did anyway. she started walking towards the sidewalk in the neighborhood then she saw a familiar face. "Alex?" She said while running up to him. "What are you doing here?" She said as she arrived right in front of him. "What are you doing here?!" He asked back. "I asked you first." She said with a little smirk. "Well...I live here." Alex said while smiling at her. When he was with Vanny, he couldn't stop smiling everything she did made him uncontrollably happy. "Oh! Well I'm just taking a walk." Vanny said and smiled back. "Care if I come?" He asked. "Not at all." Vanny replied as she started walking. "Soo you never told me why your here?" Alex said. "Maybe because I don't really wanna talk about it," Vanny didn't mean to sound so angry when she said it but she did anyway. "Oh...sorry." Alex felt kinda bad so he decided to change the subject as fast as possible. "Read anything good lately?" He asked her Vanny didn't answer. She was staring at her feet and just kept walking. "Are you okay?" Alex asked. "Uh- yeah sorry, I'm sorry I just-" she was trying to say stuff but her mouth wasn't saying it. "You wanna sit down?" Alex asked while pointing at the bench right up ahead of them. "Sure." Vanny nodded her head and ran to sit down. Once they were both seated Vanny just starred at the ground and Alex starred at her and it was silent for a long, long time. Then Vanny broke the silence. "My mom had a heart attack. And I don't feel anything. I don't feel sad and I don't miss her. Why don't I miss her? Am I crazy?! Her voice started to get very shaky and she was still just starring at the concrete. "I can't feel anything!" She sscreamed. She was clearly having a break down now, she started hyperventilating and all the emotions that she had been suppressing for so long. We're now finally coming out. "I DONT FEEL ANYTHING!" she screamed. And then all the tears that she didn't let herself cry started streaming down her face. She was sobbing. Alex wrapped his arms around her and layed his head on top of hers. Her tears stained his sweatshirt and she just kept on crying for a long time. It wasn't loud anymore. It was quiet. For a minute, it just felt like it was them in the world. and Vanny felt safe. All of her bottled emotions were finally free, and she finally felt at peace. Alex Rubbed her back and held her in his arms, They just sat there, and he didn't say anything until he whispered. "It's okay." Vanny looked up at him and he looked down at her there eyes locked and they started to lean closer to each other. Then he wiped one of her tears off her cheek and they looked into each others eyes and....*ring* *ring* *ring* Alex's phone went off and he answered it. "Yeah mom?" He said while holding the phone to his ear. "Okay mom I'm coming!" He said and then hung up. "Vanny I have to go. I'm so sorry I promise if I could I would stay with you as long as you ever needed me too. Call me if you need anything and I will be here in 2 seconds. "Bye" he said and then started walking away. "Bye" Vanny managed to get out before laying down on the bench. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and for a little while she did believe that everything was going to be "okay."