Iced Gingerbread (Uncle Remus style)

Chapter 1

Yes suh, Splash Mount'n is full o' storehs. Spesh'ly on holidays. 

An' even on holidays like Chri'mas, de crittas is alwa's gettin' mixed up. 

Like de time when Brer Rabbit an' Brer Bear was takin' a walk in de woods wid Brer Chad an' Brer Jeremy. 

Ol' Brer Chad wunt de best at leadin' de way. He dint have no sense o d'recshun. 

So he got de team lost!

"Are you ready to admit it, Chad the lad?" say Brer Jeremy wid frustrashun.

"We are not lost. We're exploring" Brer Chad protest.

"For five owas?" say Brer Rabbit.

"In complete circles?" say Brer Jeremy.

"I'd know exactly where we are if Brer Bear hadn't eaten our map" say Brer Chad.

"Again! I thot it was a candy rappa" say Brer Bear.

"Again! Dat don't explain it!" Brer Rabbit argue. 

Brer Jeremy, he look ahead. "Look! A cabin. Maybe there's someone who can help us not die out here."

De fellas, day head ova ter de cabin, a day see signs dat send visitas away. 

Day say tings like 'no trespassin',' 'seriously, go away' an' 'what is you still doin' here?'.

"Fellas, I can lead us back to the mountain" beg Brer Chad. "Trust me."

"Ya lost ma tres' faw owas ago, Brer Chad" say Brer Rabbit. 

Brer Jeremy, he knock on de door an' a gravelly voice ansa.

"No one's home!" say de voice.

"Great. No one's home. Now whadda we do?" say Brer Bear.

Brer Jeremy, he roll his eyes. "Sir, we were just hoping for some directions back to Splash Mountain."

An old man open de daw an' see de gang.

"You ain't kids, but you're young. That's it. I'm puttin' up a barbed wire fence" he say.

"Sorry for bothering you, sir" sez Brer Chad sezee. "We'll go back to our exploring."

"We're lost!" snap Brer Jeremy. 

"And in des'prit need o watta" say Brer Rabbit. 

"With ice" sez Brer Bear sezee. "An' if ya can throw in sum froot wedges, dat'd be great."

"We're not in a bar, Brer Bear" say Brer Chad. 

"You can drink from the hose if you promise to get outta here. Your mountain's that way" say de ol' man.

"Dare's a sev'ny foot cliff ova dare" say Brer Rabbit.

"So you caught me. It's the other way" say de ol' man closin' de daw.