"Santy, whaddaya mean you's dun wid Chris'mas" say Brer Bear.
"The world doesn't need me anymore" say Santy. "These days, you call a company and a delivery man in short pants drops a toy at your door. So kids can get toys without me flying around the world."
"But that's not right" say Brer Jeremy.
"Right or wrong, my pulmonologist says I'm this close to black lung" say Santy. "So I am done going down chimneys and I am done with this conversation. Now get out of here."
Brer Jeremy lead de crittas outside.
"And Chad? Try using that compass I left under your tree seven years ago" say Santy.
"I would... but I can't find it" stutta Brer Chad.
De fellas meet outside de cabin.
"I can't b'leev Santy's lost his Chris'mas spirit" say Brer Rabbit.
"We need to do something" say Brer Chad.
"I know how we can help Santy" announce Brer Bear.
"Find him a dietitian?" guess Brer Jeremy.
"Introduce him to Rose Marie?" guess Brer Rabbit.
"Nope and nope. Santy thinks he jes' brings pres'ns. But he brings mo den dat" sez Brer Bear sezee. "Mo den any deliv'ry man can. An' I knows how we can prove it ter him an' save Chris'mas."
"Smashing. Tell us on the way back to the mountain" sez Brer Chad sezee. "And to guide us, we'll follow the North Star."
"That's an airplane, you ignoramus!" say Brer Jeremy.
Back at Splash Mount'n, Sis Patty had jes' brot de robin in de cage ter de Laffin' Place.
"No need to help, Brer Fox. I got it" she say.
"I'd help but I gave ma gluvs ter Brer Gator" say Brer Fox.
"How come?"
"Cuz he wanted dem. I had ter choose b'twixt fingerless gluvs an' fingerless paws."
"Where's Burt? I can't wait to give this robin to him" say Sis Patty.
"Be patient, hunny" sez Brer Fox sezee. "Brer Burt wants ter give you his present first. I presents ter ya, a perfawmence piece called Patty!"
Brer Burt cum onto a stage an' dance in his Robin costume while recitin' a poem.
This hazel-eyed personification
Of the aesthetic ideal the universe birthed upon us
Wind, rain, fire, Patty
Alien to this mountain, she took to the water like a fish
To the air like a bird
To the air and water like a flying fish!
Before Patty, I was a teapot. So short, so stout
Caught in a desperate spiral of hopelessness!
But then... Patty.
Sis Patty jes' sat dare wid her mouf open while Brer Fox applaud.
"Fabulous, Brer Burt! Absolutely fabulous!" he say.
Brer Burt step off de stage an' approach Sis Patty.
"So, Patty? What did you think of your gift?" he say.
"I'm... speechless" say Sis Patty.
"Because you loved it?" say Brer Burt.
"Yeah, let's go with that" say Sis Patty.
YOU ARE READING
Iced Gingerbread (Uncle Remus style)
FanfictionUncle Remus narrates the third "Jelly Side Up!" installment for its anniversary.
