𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝

i

•|the cupboard under the stairs|•

Kedar

Exhaustion was an emotion that I was acquainted with, much more intimately than others living in the embellished cage they call their home. It was a rare occurrence for me to be energetic and to look forward to when I came back from classes, one that happened especially when Dadaji was away on a business tour or something concerning business. I will be the happiest person for the two or three days he will be away. As it was not the case with today, my seasonal exhaustion came back with vengeance.

I trudged up the stairs to the hall only to be met with four pairs of bewildered eyes and one pair of bored ones. It took everything in me to stand still and not make a run for my room, because if I acted on my intrusive thoughts then I would spend the rest of the night with Dada’s favorite cane.

The bewildered gazes slowly melted away into polite smiles and I mustered up enough strength to return those.

“Sadhna’s son, doing his MBA in St. Laurent Academy.” He introduced me to a very interesting looking group. At Dada’s beckoning I slowly limped to where he sat. From the corner of my eyes I could see the young woman with the guests gaping at me. It wasn't something I have never encountered, for that matter the people in this house have gaped at me more than strangers did and it definitely doesn't bother me like it does for other people. I have learned over the years to survive the questioning and surprising gazes that followed me everywhere.

The elder lady nudged the younger one to close her mouth and she did that without a moment of hesitation. It made me smile more genuinely. A childlike reaction to a life changing injury, now that's the first time I am encountering something like that.

There were four people of which three were identical to each other and very much familiar to me but at that moment I couldn't pinpoint when or where I had seen them but if they were sitting here and chatting with Shekhar Singh Rajawat then they must be important.

“Aapka naam kya hai?” [What is your name?] The elderly lady asked with intrigue.

“Kedar.” Her eyes bulged out as if I'd said a secret so precious to their life.

This must be the most awkward five minutes of my life. We all glanced at each other with painfully awkward smiles painted on our faces except the one who was thoroughly bored and held no qualms in expressing it. It was the kind of boldness that inspired me yet had no part in my life. To roll eyes and sit like he owns the house in front of Dada, he must be some kind of prince because he definitely looked the part and with that attitude it must be true to some degree.

When Dada’s dismissing hand wave came I fled the place with a polite nod. It wasn't as fast as I desired because of the limp but I escaped and breathed a sigh.

Interacting with new people wasn't exactly my forte. I was like that from a young age, always shy around new people and clinging to my parents' dress. In fact my very vivid and possibly the last memory of my parents were me clinging to their dress as we got ready to go to the party Dada was throwing.

It definitely didn't help that my social life was non-existent. Nobody ever encouraged me to talk with people or make friends, at least nobody in this house did. Teachers that came and went between my school years tried their best but they could only do so much without my cooperation. It only increased through teenage years and now in the last year of college I am still friendless as I was at the start of my school. It didn't bother me very much. I was content to stay in my cocoon and live my life alone like a hermit.