poems

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never in a million years
would i have thought this would happen.
i feel your hands on my wrists still,
while i'm trying to get away.
i still see you smiling,
while i'm telling you no.
you're my boyfriend,
so why am i overthinking this so much?
i'm SUPPOSED to have sex with you,
as your girlfriend.
he told me i was "teasing him"
i took care of him after.
i held him while he cried,
brushed his teeth for him,
bathed him,
so he doesn't feel guilty.
but i can't get over this.
i helped you feel better,
after YOU raped ME.
how am i supposed to see you now?
go on, being your girlfriend?
kiss, hug, and sleep with you?
sleep beside you?
cook with you?
you raped me.
and i don't wanna hate you for it.
i love you too much to hate you,
but i really,
seriously,
do not like you.