𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭(lovertation fanfiction)

Comfortable silence

Have you ever felt that you're just a burden in the house?That you're not enough?You try to give them what they want,but you will never be what they imagined,and it feels like a storm that sweeps you away every time.Further and further but what can calm it down?Or who?Nobody,nofuckingbody.
So you try to shrink as small as possible and wait for it to be over.
But there's someone with you standing in the pouring rain

Sitting around a table together as a family,or seem like a family.The tv shows the same boring program as every day in the evening,politics and you're sick of it.You're too scared to talk since your father is more aggressive and dry than usual.

Reputation's point of view :

"How was your day at school today honey?"my mom asks and tries to make a conversation
"Ugh it was tiring"i replied
"You can't be tired ,that's the only thing you have to do" I pull back from my plate at the moment I hear his deep voice
"But I have to study a lot" I try to explain but he just laughs
"That's the smallest problem in life ,at your age I had to work every single day to survive"
"Things change" I reach for some more fries
"Do you want to eat them all?"

I remain silent

"You could pay more attention to your body Reputation,you gained a lot of weight lately
Do you want to be fat?Dean won't like you anymore if you're fat
Boys prefer skinny,pretty and smart girls"

I put down my fork and leave my food in front of me.I'm not hungry after all of this.Disgust and anger mixed in my stomach as I look at his satisfied face.

Of course he doesn't know about what Dean did to me,and he has no idea about the eating disorder that tortured me for long years
He degrades me because he can.

"My colleague's daughter works on the weekends,I was impressed,she's only 15 years old but she's much useful than you"
"It would be that hard to leave me fucking alone?"I can't handle my emotions anymore
"Watch your mouth and don't talk back"
"Maybe stop being a jerk "
"Okay,it was enough "I see how his hands are clenched into fists and the tension fills the room
"For God's sake I'm your father"
"Lucky me I guess"I know that'll cause trouble
"You'll spend your free time with hard work from now on"
"No,I won't.
I will spend my free time with writing songs"
"Grow up and stop being childish Rep,no one cares about your songs"

I look at my mom with a desperate glare,trying to get her to help me,to say something,to stop my dad,or just comfort me
But I lost the battle,she won't fight back,she's too afraid of him
I'm the only one I can count on .

—

Rep sits in front of the window in her room and watches the raindrops racing across the glass
She hugs a pillow tightly and lets the tears fall.She feels her salty tears flowing down but she can't sob anymore .It's not a pain that comes from the deepest part of suffering,it's her usual night routine what she get used to
Her phone vibrates

Lov🩷:Rep you can't ignore me forever
Reppy🖤:I'll try to
Lov🩷:Okay;I'm coming over
Reppy🖤:No please no,it's not the time I don't want you to be in our house
Lov🩷:Let's meet at the swing next to your neighbour's garden
Reppy🖤:Our childhood place?
Lov🩷:Our place

She waited gently there,with all of her patience and positivity
Rep sat next to her with her darkness and frustration
It was legendary,momentary
Two mentally disabled people trying to do their best underneath the same moon in different galaxies during the biggest and scariest storm
Without seeing the end of the lightning and wind

Two girls who know everything about the each other's world,same feelings in different situations
Only two things remain the same
black eyeliner and pink lipgloss

"Did you cry?"
"No."
"I see your nose is red,when you cry your nose is always red"
"Damn,you know me so well "
"What happened?"
"Lover you don't have to pretend you care about me
Why did you even come here?"
"You're avoiding me again,and I don't know what did I mess up "
"Nothing"
"So we're fine?"
"Yea"
"You don't look into my eyes Rep,stop lying "
Rep tried to look into her eyes but against her will her eyes strayed to Lover's neck,her hickey

Lover stood up from the swing and knelt in front of Rep to hold her hands and to get all of her attention
She was so close to her,that they felt the little vein connecting again
Comfortable silence
Rep closed her eyes because if you don't see what causes the complication in your soul,well then you don't have to fight with reality
Soon she noticed the other girl's warm breath on her skin,her smell,her aura,her consolation
"Don't fight so hard to maintain the walls that block the way to realization Rep"
"Realization comes with pain"She said with a trembling voice
"There'll be happiness after the great war"
Lover kissed her softly on the cheek,and for a second it solved everything
When she opened her eyes she saw her walking away
Now it was just her,sitting on the swing ,cross-legged in the dim light with a lipgloss mark on her cheek
The rain ended.

A/N:heyyy guys,shorter chapter because exams are still killing me and I had no motivation and idea for this part so maybe it's boring I'm so sorryyyy
love y'all