Yeein' On That 'Haw

Finger Guns!

 "So yeah, Bigfoot directed me into town, hijinks ensued, and now we're here," I summarized. Of course I was omitting 99% of the two years I'd lived in Dialtown since, but he didn't need to know that.

"That has gotta be th' stupidest thing I ever 'eard, pardner," Norm interrupted me. "What'd I tell ya about bigfoot? It ain't real."

I huffed exasperatedly. My hands were slowly becoming calloused from the force with which I was grabbing the rungs of the ladder. How tall was this thing? How far had we ascended? "Well, how did I live through the swan attack, then?" I muttered indignantly.

"I'm jus' sayin', y'said y'were feelin' pretty, uh... out of it, right?" He asked, confirming my story's details. "Maybe y'just... imagined it?"

I metaphorically frowned, feeling a flare of annoyance in my chest. "I can't tell if you're calling me crazy or a liar."

I heard Norm sputter nervously for just a moment before speaking again. "No, 'm not callin' ya either. But bigfoot don't exist, pardner, there's nothin' I can do about that."

There was a brief pause in conversation while I furrowed my phone-eyebrows. He totally thought I was crazy. That didn't feel good. When I spoke again, I was a bit quieter. "Agree to disagree, then."

The remainder of our journey up the ladder was completely silent, save for our breathing and the sounds of our shoes hitting the rungs.

Eventually, Norm came to a sudden stop, huffing gratefully. "Finally," he muttered under his breath. "A manhole. Lemme git this open."

As he lifted the manhole cover from its place in the ceiling, I made the grave mistake of looking down, only to find an entire abyss beneath us. I couldn't even see the bottom of the ladder. I sucked in a short, fearful breath and shot my gaze back upwards, trying to forget what I just saw.

Norm finally got the manhole cover off and pushed it to the side with a grunt of effort. He mumbled unintelligibly before climbing up the remainder of the ladder and out of the sewers. I followed soon after.

I was met with the sight of what seemed to be the backroads of Dialtown– what we considered the slums. Ramshackle houses and shops lined the worn asphalt, which was not wide enough to fit any cars.

I took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet smell of crystal meth. Yep. This was Dialtown, baby.

"Alrighty," Norm said with a relieved sigh. "Outta th' sewer and int' th' fire. Won't get that smell outta my clothes fer years."

I found myself grinning at him, placing my hands on my hips. "I lived down there for like, a year, you'll be fine."

He briefly furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. "Well, y'know the way 'round here. How d'we get t' the Mayor's office?"

I hummed in consideration, turning in a circle to get my bearings. I didn't quite recognize the area– I tried my best to avoid this part of town. The Dialtown Mob operated out of here, and while I had learned first-hand that they were certainly not at all dangerous, I still liked to avoid them just in case they... I don't know, put a whoopee cushion on my chair.

"I'm... actually not sure," I responded in a high-pitched voice. "I don't come around here often. The Mob hang out here a lot, and I like avoiding minor inconveniences." I turned to face Norm, lifting my hands in a helpless gesture.

"Well," he began, pulling his revolver from its holster "We won't have any problems, far as I'm concerned. Yer safe."

Wow. Alright, uh, okay.