ENG - Fractured Fates ʰʸᵘⁿˡᶦˣ

15

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„Tell me, are you actually in a relationship?" [...]

His eyes, which were now scrutinizing me attentively, seemed to show a hint of amusement. „It's not that difficult to answer the question," he said when I didn't answer even after some time, shrugging his shoulders as he subconsciously pushed me with this sentence. His nonchalance was in stark contrast to my inner chaos, which was raging like a hurricane in my head and causing me to lose all clarity of thought. I could feel my cheeks getting even hotter and my heartbeat accelerating as if I were running a marathon.

I tried to regain my composure and organize my thoughts, which were fluttering around in my head like a frenzied swarm of butterflies. „This... It's not relevant to your recovery," I stammered, trying to avert my gaze from his, which drew me like a magnet. My hands were shaking slightly with nervousness, which was why I shoved them into my pocket.
He laughed softly, a sound that was rare. „Maybe not for my recovery, but maybe for my mental health," he said, looking at me with a strange expression in his eyes that seemed to be a mixture of curiosity and amusement. I felt my cheeks get even hotter and I tried to hide my embarrassment by just opening the folder and pretending I had work to do. „So? Or are you really that prudish?" he asked in a slightly gruff voice.
„No, I'm... I'm not in a relationship," I finally stammered, my eyes fixed on the contents of the folder, which blurred before my eyes. He nodded slowly, his gaze still fixed on me. „That's what I thought," he said quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself.

After his question, a brief but intense silence fell over the room, broken only by our shared breathing and the beeping of the devices. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, he broke the silence with a question that threw me off even more than the previous one. „Are you still a virgin?" he inquired, and I could feel my heart skip a beat. I choked again and coughed violently. I tapped my hand against my chest as if to calm my heart, which was pounding wildly in my body, and looked at him with wide eyes that watered with shock and embarrassment.
My face felt like it was on fire, and I was eternally grateful for the darkness that surrounded us, broken only by the faint glow of the bedside lamp.

Hyunjin watched me with a raised eyebrow that betrayed his curiosity. He seemed to be waiting for an answer, and the tension in the air became almost palpable. „W...why do you want to know?", I asked, stuttering slightly, which made me bang my head against the wall inwardly. I couldn't believe that I had just asked this question out loud, after all, it was none of his business!
His answer came promptly and without hesitation, his voice sounding confident and determined. „Tell me and I'll tell you," he replied, his eyes still fixed on me as if he wanted to hear my every reaction.

I swallowed hard, as if there was an invisible lump in my throat and I was desperately trying to get my jumbled thoughts in order. I could feel my throat becoming increasingly dry, as if I hadn't had a drink in hours, and my heart didn't want to calm down at all.
Should I be honest?
Should I tell him the truth?
I didn't know what to say or how to respond to his question. I was confused and unsure, like a small child who has lost their mother in a crowd. Finally, I lifted my gaze again and looked into his eyes, which pierced me with such intensity that I felt almost naked and exposed. He was watching me with his dark, penetrating eyes that reminded me of a predator that had set its sights on its prey.
„I..." I began hesitantly, my voice little more than a soft, quivering whisper. I could see him lean forward slightly to hear my words better, his eyes still fixed on me. „Yes," I finally confessed quietly and in the next moment I would have liked to sink into the ground to escape the unbearable pressure and embarrassing situation.

A strange expression flitted across his face, a mixture of surprise and something I couldn't quite interpret. Perhaps it was disappointment or even a trace of contempt that I thought I recognized in his features.
A heavy silence spread between us like a dark shadow that swallowed up every ray of light. „Why?" he continued to ask, his voice sounding a little softer now. „Didn't anyone want you?" I felt my hands grow cold and damp and my breathing became irregular and shallow. Nevertheless, a slight, bitter smile formed on my face. „It's not that," I replied quietly, looking down at my hands playing with each other. I couldn't tell him that I was suffering from an unknown illness and was therefore avoiding any possible bonding. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me or treat me differently.
„So it's not because you're ugly. On the contrary, looking at you more closely, you're incredibly hot," Hyunjin suddenly said, causing me to look at him in surprise. „What?" I asked quietly, my voice trembling slightly. I couldn't believe what I had just heard.
Had he just paid me a compliment?

I felt my heart stop for a moment before it continued to beat at double speed. The blush on my face deepened a shade and I could feel the warmth spreading throughout my body. I had never been told I was good-looking by anyone other than Jisung or my parents, so his compliment surprised me all the more and left me feeling strangely happy at the same time.
I felt like a little girl who had just received a compliment from her crush and my heart leapt for joy.

The redhead in front of me rolled his eyes, but kept his eyes on me. „You heard right," he replied. „What about the first kiss?" he continued, his voice sounding curious and a little challenging.
I couldn't take my eyes off him as my hands clasped together convulsively. I just shook my head silently, because I felt incredibly uncomfortable saying all this, even to a stranger. I didn't even know why I was confessing all this, after all Hyunjin was a stranger and only my patient.
A patient who was extremely attractive on the outside.

He sighed and ran a hand through his red hair. „Damn," he muttered, averting his eyes. „I could have sworn you were at least making out already," he continued, his voice sounding a little disappointed. „How old are you?" he then asked.
A little confused at his curiosity and the words he said, I replied quietly, „22." Speaking my age only made me feel more ashamed because I had never had a relationship, nor experienced my first time, let alone a kiss. It was pathetic no matter how you spun it, and I could feel the shame making me blush even more. „Why do you want to know all this?" I asked him boldly, raising my eyes to look directly at him.

There was silence between us for a few seconds, a silence so oppressive and unbearable that I wanted to run away. But then he turned his gaze back in my direction and waved his hand away, accompanied by a click of his tongue. „Minho said you were still a full-blooded virgin, whereas I was firmly convinced that you'd already made out at least once. So we made a bet," he explained, sounding a little annoyed. „Now I owe him a blowjob. I really can't stand it," he hissed quietly and rolled his eyes.

Confused and with a hint of hurt in my eyes, I looked at him as the realization dawned on me that he had only asked me out on a bet with his friend. My heart tightened at the thought that his interest in me was just a game, a mere pastime.
They were making fun of me.
I tried not to show my disappointment too obviously as I asked my next question: „You're sleeping with your roommate?" He looked at me with an inscrutable look and nodded briefly. „Are you two together?" I followed up, hoping to steer the conversation in a different direction and put the awkward situation of the last few minutes behind me.

He laughed softly, a sound that seemed as cold and distant as he was. „I don't have relationships. I don't need one for sex and that's all I want," he replied with an indifference that made me shudder. I forced a smile onto my lips and nodded in understanding. „But isn't it actually nicer in a relationship? When feelings are involved?" I continued to ask and sat down on the chair next to the bed.
His earlier questions had hurt me, and the fact that I was only a bet for her did the rest. But at the same time, I also felt somehow honored that Hyunjin was finally talking to me, in proper, full sentences.

He looked at me with one eyebrow raised, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. „How would you know that? You've never had one," he replied, and his tone was mocking, almost condescending.
A renewed twinge in my heart.
But instead of letting it show, I just shrugged my shoulders and replied: „I just imagine it is." He looked at me again, his eyes literally piercing me, and again a silence spread between us, interrupted only by the beeping of the medical equipment. His gaze seemed thoughtful, but he never took his eyes off me.
„Come here," he suddenly said and waved me over with his hand. Confused and unsuspecting, I stood up and stepped closer to his bed.

When I was within his reach, he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him with a jerk. Before I knew it, he was pushing me into the pillow and leaning over me at a slight angle. My eyes widened in shock as I looked into his eyes, which were as dark and impenetrable as the night.
My heartbeat quickened and I drew in a sharp breath as I felt his warm breath on my face. Slowly, almost in slow motion, his face approached mine.
Shortly afterwards, I felt his soft lips on mine. A surge of emotion flooded through me as he kissed me. My eyes widened even further in astonishment and I held my breath in excitement. My body froze for a moment, unable to react as I tried to comprehend the situation. I could only feel the pounding of my heart echoing in my ears.
His touch was electrifying.

It was only when he slid his tongue over my lip that I woke up from my stupor, as if I had been torn from a dream. A shiver ran through me and I instinctively tried to push him away from me. But my touch was probably too tentative, too insecure, because he didn't move to get away from me. I didn't want to hurt him by being too rough, so he continued to lean over me.
The warmth of his body seeped through his clothes and enveloped me like a familiar hug, reassuring and electrifying me at the same time. I could feel the light pressure with which he kissed me - not too hard, but not too tentative either. Finally, I closed my eyes and returned the kiss. My heart was pounding so loudly that I thought he must be able to hear it. It was my first kiss and I felt excited and insecure in equal measure.
My very first kiss with a stranger.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I just let him do it. Again, he stroked my lower lip with his tongue and I tentatively opened my mouth a little. Immediately, as if he didn't want to wait any longer, I felt his tongue begin to search for mine.
As our tongues touched and began to perform a dance, which I cautiously and uncertainly returned, I felt goose bumps spread all over my body. As his tongue explored mine, it felt like fireworks exploded inside me, engulfing me completely. My senses seemed to sharpen, every touch, every taste, every smell became more intense.
He ran his hand over my upper body and pressed me even closer to him. It felt incredible to feel his soft lips on mine, his hands on my body. Hyunjin knew exactly what he was doing, I could tell, and it felt good - damn good.

When he finally pulled away from me, I slowly opened my eyes and looked into his face. My breathing was quick and shallow as I was completely overwhelmed by this new feeling that was spreading through me. His eyes sparkled with pleasure and something that looked like pride.
„I guess I don't owe Minho a blowjob now after all," he said with a self-satisfied smile and sat up in an upright position. Surprised and shocked at the same time, I also sat up and looked at him.
What had he just said?
But as if nothing had happened, he lowered his eyes to his cell phone again and started swiping around on the screen.

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