Full Strength

Forty Five-Logan🏒

        "Are you okay?" I asked softly.

        "Yeah, just...tired," Lillian said as she unlocked the front door.

         While the twins had gone to bed over an hour, and many of the younger guests had gone home in order to get their rest before daycare tomorrow, a lot of the adults had stayed, most of them family. It was now almost midnight, so it was believable that she was tired. But she had been a lot quieter ever since she'd left the party to take a phone call. When she'd come back, she'd stuck mostly to my shadow, quietly listening. The ride home had been silent, too.

        Deciding to be nosy, I asked, "Who called you?"

        She bit her lip. "Jade."

        "How is she doing?"

        "I forgot our friendiversary," Lillian said quietly as she sat down on the couch. "It's a really big deal to us. We always go out together and I didn't even remember it."

        Sitting down next to her, I folded my hands in my lap. Quietly, I asked, "Am I taking up too much of your time?"

         "Maybe? I don't know," she replied in a very small voice. It was clear she felt guilty about that answer.

         "I know that I'm your work," I went on. "Some things you have to do. But if I'm taking up too much space in your head, Lilli, I can back off."

        "That's the thing, I don't want you to back off," she groaned, leaning back against the cushions. "I like you."

        My lips twitched. "I noticed."

        "I think I just need to back off," she whispered. "Remember that you're not everything in my life. Even though I want you to be."

       "Okay," I said, reaching over and squeezing her hand. "I wouldn't want you to hurt your friends because of me."

        "It's not your fault, Logan," she sighed, turning her head to look at me. Momentarily, I got lost in her eyes. 

         "Maybe you and Jade could hang out tomorrow?" I offered.

         "I'm going to ask her out for breakfast. I don't think she'll say yes," Lillian said, closing her eyes. 

         Graham was the closest thing I'd ever had to a best friend, aside from my siblings. Playing hockey as a kid meant every year, the teams were switched around. You rarely had anyone you knew on your team two years in a row. Friends were made, then forgotten six months later. 

        When Lillian had first moved in, I'd instantly understood how close she and Jade were. They'd talked on the phone almost every day, sent each other memes, and texted each other well into the night. I'd noticed the phone calls becoming less and less frequent, but I'd figured either Jade was too busy for them or Lillian was simply too focused on me, especially when I'd gone to the hospital for the infection.

        "I'm sorry," I said softly. "I know how important she is to you."

        "Apparently not important enough," Lillian said bitterly. She stood, my fingers slipping from her grasp. 

         We both got ready for bed, changing into pajamas and crawling under the covers. Before I could close my eyes, Lillian whispered, "I'm sorry, Logan. I didn't mean to unload all of this on you."

        "It's okay," I said, turning off the lamp. "That's part of my job, to listen to your problems."

        "Thank you," she said, lightly kissing my cheek.