Scarred Heart

Chapter 3

Hi everyone,

Content warning,

Please note,

Offensive words, torture, and abuse. Please proceed with caution. You can also skip if you don't like to see people being abused. 

               

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ouch! My head feels so heavy and it hurts at the same time. I struggle to open my tightly shut eyes. I need to wake up, but I can't. The place I’m in and the situation are unclear to me. Nhial! Yes, I remember him misbehaving before I slapped him. Oh my god! Why can't I open my eyes? Awave of fear washes over me. Has he done something to me? Something feels wrong, as if someone is touching me and hurting me. I whimper, did he drug me or something?

I need to wake up quickly. I won't survive if he does what I think he’s about to do. Ahhh! Why does it hurt so much? The pain is unbearable, but I can’t fight back. Something hot is burning me. I can hear muffled voices, someone talking. Is madam here? Yes, its her!

I tried to hold on when a sharp, stabbing pain shot through me, forcing my eyes open as a cry of agony came from my throat, deep and soul-wrenching.

What was in front of me shattered the last hope that was within me. In front of me was the woman I considered my mother, holding a sharp knife stabbed to my left leg. She inserted it deeper and deeper into my skin. Krista had a jug full of hot water, and the hot vapour was very visible.

"Please stop, mommy, please stop,” I begged again and again, but she didn't stop. Instead she encouraged Krista to pour more and more hot water on me. The pain was excruciating.

“That's what a slut like you deserves. I cared for you for so long, and instead of being grateful, you try to sleep with my brother?” puu! She spat on my face. “ A disgusting woman like you doesn't deserve any mercy or a home. You deserve to be on the streets like the bitch you are.”

Me, a bitch, a slut? Such brutal words straight from her own mouth without mercy or thought. I became numb, and my heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

The criminal becomes the victim, and the victim becomes the criminal. How ironic. With the way she was acting, even if I told the truth, she wouldn’t believe a word. I had no one to come to my rescue, but I had people who would gladly judge  me for something I never did, and would never do. Is this the end for me?

I looked at my bleeding leg and sat there, silent,motionless, not crying.  Would they finally end it all? It was one against three: the man I feared, the woman I once called mother, and a sister who despised me. If I screamed, the neighbors would come,but mom would blame me for something, and they would leave without question.  No one ever cared to ask if the allegations were true. It was a cycle I had grown used to. There was never a fair trial for me, only my words against theirs.

Achuil was feared by many. She was rude, and always picked fights. She was wrong most of the time, but her pride would never allow her to admit.
For the first time, I felt completely alone. This woman was evil, unrepentantly evil. I was doomed from the start, I will never understand why.

"Mom, didn't I tell you she would cause problems one day? Imagine if others heard this. What will they think of us? She’s doing all this in broad daylight, and with Uncle too?" Krista held her head in disbelief as she  began pacing.

"I’m glad you came at the right time, or she would have accused me of trying to assault her if you weren’t here,” Nhial said. If only I could reach him I would punch that bastard.

“Ye pandu kene?! dhuknhom! Yin cinpuou. Abeel. (Is this your house? Answer! You have no heart. Idiot)

“So you want sex? No problem, I know a very good place that will take people like you.” She took me by my hand and lifted me from the chair. Aaaaaa! I gasped in pain.

"Maa, ye lueth, acin ke mok to prove myself. (Mom, it's a lie. I have nothing to prove myself.) “Keep quiet! You're leaving my house today.” She said as she led me out of the house, my words of protest fell on deaf ears. Once outside, she threw me to the ground. I winced in pain from my wounds.

I fell to the ground, feeling more pathetic than I ever had in my entire life. Mom cursed some more. While on the ground, I saw black leather shoes that I could recognise from a distance. They belonged to the man I knew as my father.

“What's going on here?” His voice was soft, lacking compassion, as if he didn't care.

“I will tell you what's going on. This child has decided that it's time to get attention from a man. Do you know what she has done?  Should I spell it out for you?

“Achuil, stop all this and get straight to the point.”

“I will, and when I do, this bitch should get out of my house.”

“Achuil!” he roared her name.

“Don't you dare shout at me, Machar. You should shout at her, not me.”

“Let me explain the situation, brother-in-law, since Achuil is in as much shock as I am. Achuil left in the morning, and I came to say hello. When she left, it was only me and Lina left in the house, so I asked her to get me a glass of water. When she came back, she…” He gasped, shaking his head as if overwhelmed. What a drama queen, he should be an actor,but with all his lies and behavior, who would hire him?

“She what? Dad urged him to continue. “Finish your story.”

“Brother-in-law, I don't even want to continue…I’m so ashamed."

“There’s no need to be ashamed; tell me everything.”

"Father, I was...”

“Keep quiet! Have some respect.” He shouted

“Do you want to lie some more? Achuil looked at me

“No, madam, please believe me! I did no such thing! He's lying he knows he's at fault.”

“Please continue, Nhial."
What!? Seriously, my own father is giving someone else the freedom to explain himself While, I his flesh and blood, I'm ignored completely. He's aware of what I have been through but he doesn't care.

"Your daughter seduced me by showing her cleavage to me and telling me that she has desired me for a long time. She also asked me to sleep with her and get married to her, promising she would do everything I asked of her." he said in one breath.

“And what did you do?” He inquired

“What kind of question is that, brother-in-law? Of course, I refused. She is a child and does not understand what she is doing. She told me that you abuse her on a daily basis, and she wanted to leave this house and she thought well of me. When I refused, she proceeded to touch me indecently.”

"Daddy, no, daddy, that is not true. He touched me indecently. So I slapped him, and when I said…”

He shocked me by extending his hands and lifting me off the floor, finally someone believed me, but it was not as I expected. He slapped me so hard that the sound was heard by everyone near. The crowd  increased in numbers in seconds, eager to witness the drama unfold itself. None of them tried to step in. They were interested in gossip and didn’t care if anyone would die in the end.

“Is this what you have decided to do in my house?” His face was twisted in fury. “Is this what we have taught you? Fine, you want a marriage with your uncle? I will arrange a marriage for you.”

“Please don't be angry. As I said, she’s still a child.” Nhial replied.

“ Don't defend her; I will handle her accordingly. Thank you for informing me” he said.

At that exact moment, it hit me that I was living with strangers. The people I once called my parents were nothing more than strangers I shared a house with. This realization settled in as I vowed never to call them mom and dad again. They were never my parents and  never will be. Whether we shared the same blood or not, these were not my people. I’m disappointed with myself that it took me this long to understand it. I prayed they put an end to this so I could finally be at peace.