I left my sandcastle unattended,
I nearly broke my back to design it as intended.
O Govinda, will you ensure its stability?
Or, Govinda, will you wreck it and wreck me?
The castle stays rooted in the raging storm- a testament to my unyielding toil,
The raindrops coalesce silently inside, as it continues to await your arrival.
The raindrops soon overflow and reach His primordial ocean- as does my love,
That transcends space and time, yet for you it is not enough.
I could be watching the peacocks' regal ballet as they unfurl their feathers in unison,
Or the beautiful koel perched upon my sandcastle, having finally seen the sun.
But it torments me to admire their teasing hues,
As they serve as a constant reminder of my only muse.
I wonder if the koel would take a message, for my lord from his willing slave,
Recalling all my forbidden fantasies that I swore to take to the grave,
And the passionate desire that consumes me like a wildfire,
Beseeching you to quench the flames, before they rise higher and higher.
O Kamadeva, only you can comprehend my love; and only you can comprehend my agony.
So Kamadeva, will you give me your grace, so I can finally be free?
I'd sooner offer my prasadam to the foxes, I'd sooner throw my whole life away, than let anyone but Him marry me,
Because the way I see His hands wrapped around my waist is the only thing that feels holy.
O Govinda, your lotus eyes pierce my fragile mind,
All I ever see now is the cow-herd with the valiance of a lion.
The rainclouds show me your divine hue, and the golden sand longs for the embrace of your feet,
My fingers ache to touch your obsidian curls, so come running towards me, just follow the rhythm of my racing heartbeat.
I wear your garlands and look in the mirror, beaming,
Your resplendent smile has me overcome with feeling,
But you let me die inside at the altar, screaming,
Leaving me the cruel reminder that I'm only daydreaming.
Oh Govinda, did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?
Time goes on, but she remains on the beach by your ocean.
Her heart sings your name with endless devotion,
Still waiting for a glimpse of your divine reflection.
As a fish you preserved the Vedas, as a turtle you moved mountains for the devas,
As a boar you answered the cries of a helpless Bhudevi, and as Narasimha you protected a child, and made sure he had nothing to be afraid of.
So why do you leave me alone by my crumbling castle, bereft and reeling,
Knowing too well how I've been feeling? Knowing that your presence is crucial for my healing?
I left my sandcastle unattended,
I nearly broke my back to design it as intended.
O Govinda, will you ensure its stability?
Or, Govinda, will you wreck it as you have wrecked me?
-My version of Nachiyar Thirumozhi
