An Impossible Attraction

Chapter twenty six

“Oh my Goodness,” Lucy was the first to find her voice, she glanced from her shocked son to the smiling Tracy and the nodding Gary. “Oh my Goodness,” she repeated, not knowing what else to say. She left Nathan’s side to approach Tracy, taking her hand in hers to have a good look at the ring, “Congratulations?” she asked rather than state with worry clearly written on her face. She knew how they broke up in the first place, she knew the pain Tracy went through seeing the betrayal even though they didn’t tell Nathan. And so suddenly hearing that they are getting married, the older woman wanted to be sure she knew what she was doing.
Tracy could understand her worry alright, and nodded with a soft smile, assuring the woman, “yes Lucy,” she said.
“Oh,” Lucy nodded, letting go of her hand, “that’s a beautiful ring,” she chuckled nervously.
“Thank you,” Tracy smiled again, glancing at the ring.
“You should have told me on time, I would have prepared something, maybe a little celebration or something,” Lucy accused.
“It doesn’t matter Lucy, your blessings is all I need, all we need,” she smiled, linking her arm with Gary who nodded.
“Well, I have been waiting for this news from you for a long time. Forgive me for acting surprised, I was just not expecting it now.”
“It’s alright,” Tracy smiled and then glanced at the teenage boy that had suddenly turned into a statue since her announcement. She stared at him, waiting to hear what he has to say and somehow, her actions got the attention of the other two adults in the room and they all glanced at him.
Nathan suddenly woke up from his shock to feel everyone staring at him, he couldn’t begin to describe the emotions going through him now and all he wanted was just to walk away as one word kept repeating in his mind ‘betrayal’. He turned then and left the house without dropping a single word.
“Nathan,” Tracy called to him but he didn’t stop neither did he turn. The slamming of the door after him was the only answer she got and they heard the sound resonating through the whole house and followed by another breaking sound only Tracy heard.
“Oh, it must be too much on him since he never liked…” Lucy paused to glance at Gary and sighed. “Don’t worry Tracy, he will get over it and learn to accept the fact, he just needs time.”
Tracy nodded even though she didn’t hear most of the things she said. She blinked continuously and fought to keep her tears at bay. She knew he was angry at her, but not to worry, someday he will learn to understand the sacrifice she was making for him now. Someday, maybe when she has already gotten fed up with her life, she will tell him about the pain she was going through by just making these decisions.
She turned to the man beside her, ready to get him out of her sight already, “you flight is by seven, I will take you to the airport.”
“It’s still five O’clock sweetie, there is still time. Maybe we can take the time to chat more with aunt Lucy or we can all go grab dinner and hopefully, Nathan would meet us there, how about that?” Gary asked glancing from the younger woman to the older one and then back at the younger one.
“That is nice idea but I won’t stay long as I have to go to work.” Lucy smiled.
“Any little time you spend with us will be amazing,” Gary smiled, “isn’t that right sweetie?”
Tracy smiled but it was obvious it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Great then, we can head out already so that we can have some quality time before my flight time arrives,” Gary said and Lucy nodded then glanced at Tracy before heading upstairs to dress for work for she had the plan to leave from there.
When she came back downstairs, they three left the living room for outside where Tracy and Gary got into her car while Lucy got into hers and silently followed them while dialing Nathan’s number.
***
Nathan chugged down the bottle of beer in front of him not taking his mouth out until there was no more liquid in the bottle and he let it drop on the table with a thud. Everything was still replaying in his mind, how she had confidently announced her engagement like every memory he held of them was in his dream. He still couldn’t believe it, it all still sounded strange to him. But the painful feeling in his chest, the feeling like life was been sucked out of him, the feeling of hearing his heart break in pieces and then the pieces started breaking into tinier pieces was so real and the only thing proving to him that it was the reality. It all still feels like a dream, like he would just wake up now and everything would be a nightmare.
Oh what he wouldn’t give for it to be a nightmare, to be a painful dream that he would just wake up from and all pain would be away, and all pain would be gone like it was never there in the first place. He raised his hand to the bartender and he was given another bottle. He didn’t bother waiting for the bartender to open the drink for him and just used his teeth straight away, drinking from the bottle before placing it on the table.
He sniffled, trying to get his emotion in check. He can’t count how long he had been sitting there or how many bottles of beer he had downed. All he knew was that he had been drinking for so long and yet the pain refused to go away, rather, it was getting worse like he was forced to relive that moment every single second. He sniffled once more and closed his eyes, wishing the memory would just be taken away by the alcohol that was slowly taking effect on him.
He glanced beside him at the couple making out and without a care that everyone could see them and he just want to drown in his sorrows. When will it be? When will he get to act so brazen with her? Oh, he has forgotten, she was getting married, so, there is no hope waiting for the day, there was no need hoping and having fate.
He tore his gaze away from them and focused on his drink again, bringing it to his lips and finishing the liquid before letting the bottle go. He knew he was drunk, he could smell the alcohol reeking out of him but he just want this pain to be gone. How can he be so drunk and still be feeling this heart wrenching pain? How can he be so drunk and yet still able to describe the torment he was going through? How could she do this to him?
He could still remember their last discussion at the church parking lot, he had openly asked her to give him a chance, to date him and see how good he can be to her and her response? She may have not said yes but she acted like she had given in, she even stole a kiss from him when he walked her back to her car after James had forced them to take pictures. So where did he get it wrong? Where was he wrong in believing and waiting for her for the past month? Why was this the news he received instead when all he had dreamt about was wrapping her in his arms when he finally sees her? How did he get everything so wrong?
Nathan wallowed in his miseries and drinking till the bartender refused to sell more beers to him. He had paid him and only God knows how he was able to drive home in that state. He didn’t go into his house, from the driveway he could tell his mom wasn’t home. He parked his car and stumbled out, grabbing onto the car door to stabilize himself. He glanced at the house next door, he could see through the darkness that there was no car parked in the driveway or anywhere and there was no light inside as well. Yet he staggered to the house, determined to ask her why she hates him so, why she just couldn’t love him back.
He fell on the front door while trying to knock and he stayed there for a few seconds before finally bringing his hand up to knock. “Trace,” he slurred her name, pounding on the door drunkenly, “Tr…a…ce….” He choked and coughed a while before adding, “are you in there? Open….open…up….for me…please…ple…ase…I just…just…wa…nt to…talk….pleaseeeeeee.” he slumped in front of the door, determined not to leave until she opened up for him. “I…will…sit here….till…you come out Tra…ce…I pro….miseeee.”
He sat there, kept on saying how he wasn’t going to leave until she comes out to see him until a car’s headlight fell on him. He blocked his eyes with his hand, still swaying sideways and trying to get a hold of himself. Rather than the car to pass him, it slowed down and someone jumped out. “Nathan,” she sounded worried and immediately turned off the car and went to him. “I have been looking everywhere for you. You didn’t answer your calls!”
“There you are,” Nathan smiled, “I have been waiting for you.”
“Christ, you smell like you were dipped in a bowl of alcohol.”
“And it makes you happy, doesn’t it?” he asked, glancing at her in the darkness.
“What the hell are you saying?”
“Are you happy now Trace? Are…you… happy now seeing me… like this? Seeing the… effect you have on… me? Does it make… you happy to see how… broken I can be without... your love?”