An Impossible Attraction

Chapter thirty six

Nathan couldn’t look away from Cindy after hearing everything she said and the obvious pain in her eyes, but he couldn’t say a word and so he climbed out of the car, walked around it to her side and opened the door. Cindy watched him, wondering what he was doing as he silently scooped her in his arms and kicked the door shut. He started carrying her into the house, having spent a lot of time with her at home, he knew there was no one else in the house at this time and with the truck in the driveway, he knew James had gone out with her car which was why she didn’t go to Tracy with it.
Opening the door, he carried her straight up the stairs and to her bedroom where he kicked the door shut as well and went to the bed. All these happened with him not saying a word and Cindy not looking away from him. He placed her on the bed and without warning, started kissing her. Cindy was shocked at that but at the manner in which he was kissing her made her forget about every other reason and returned the kiss. Her hands circled on his neck as she pushed herself into his arms.
His hand started caressing her body and it brought shivers to her skin and a moan escaped from her. She was so lost in the kiss and his advances as she gave everything back, surrendering herself to him. As he reached to pull down her pant, she woke up from her fantasy and it was only then that she noticed he was kissing her a bit too hard. And right then, she remembered the experience that night in his bedroom and she realized that she was the only one enjoying the moment and he was obviously forcing himself to be in the mood just to make her happy.
That thought alone ruined everything for her and with all the strength in her; she pushed him away and curled on the bed. He didn’t come for her and she took that moment to steal a glance at him and just as she expected, there was no bulge in his pants and she felt like laughing at herself. How could she think that maybe he really wanted her when it was obvious his heart could only belong to one person, one woman? They both remained silent while Cindy tried to calm herself down.
Minutes passed before she finally spoke up, “how were you planning to continue?”
Nathan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, knowing exactly what she was asking of, “I don’t know.”
Cindy heaved a sigh and sat up, she scooted closer to the headboard and rested her back and head on it. “What did you mean by she is going through a lot, what did she tell you last night?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why not? You told me every other thing.”
Nathan sighed, “Cindy please, I can’t tell you.”
“Does she want you back?”
Nathan chuckled dryly, “I wish.”
“So why are you protecting her all of a sudden?”
“You won’t understand.”
“Then make me understand. Please,” she didn’t take her gaze away from his back, “Please Nathan,” she watched as he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair once more.
“She is just going through a lot.”
“Like?”
“I can’t say Cindy, please, don’t force me,” he turned then to look at her, “all I know is that it changed everything.”
“Everything like how you see her now?”
“Yes, it diluted my anger at her.”
“So what are you angry at now?”
“Nature? Every other thing,” he sighed and stood up, “how everything and obviously everyone is playing against us,” he sniffled and wiped his hands on his face. “I don’t know, may decision would obviously hurt me in future but I don’t know what else to do,” he sniffled once more, “I guess I’m just going to let fate play its game,” he angrily wiped away the tear that rolled down his cheek. “It just feels like…” he paused, unable to finish his words as the tears came pouring down.
Cindy climbed out of the bed immediately and went to him, she hugged him and he let her but she didn’t know what to say and just let him cry it all out.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized and moved away from her, “I thought the tears had stopped,” he sniffled and wiped his eyes dry. “It must be crazy, always seeing a big boy like me cry,” he chuckled and sniffled. “I’m trying to hold it in, it’s just…” he paused and wiped away a tear that escaped, “you are so easy to talk to. So much better than Steven,” he chuckled once more.
“It’s okay, to be honest, I’m happy you found solace with my presence. You can be the big boy in school, the handsome captain of the basketball team and then be the normal human boy in my presence,” she smiled.
Nathan chuckled and went back to sitting on the foot of the bed, “you know this morning I sent a letter to Cambridge.”
“What? I thought you said you didn’t want to go far because you want to be close to your mom. I thought you have sent letters to the nearby schools,” Cindy asked, going to sit beside him.
“I know, it’s just…last minute change.”
“Why?”
He heaved a sigh, “after their honeymoon, they would move in here so I can’t stay here. With her around, Mom wouldn’t miss my company that much. Who knows, if I get accepted in Cambridge, after school I might get a job there.”
“And then you will base in London,” she finished for him.
Nathan nodded, “yes, I have an aunt there, my dad’s sister. I don’t see her often due to she is always busy and hardly visits and I don’t like visiting because of mom and also because…” he sighed, “I don’t want to be away from her.”
“I see, have you told your aunt then?”
He shook his head, “I will have mom call her tonight and then hope that Cambridge accepts me.”
“Of course they will,” she rolled her eyes, “you are among the top four best students in school,” she sighed. “I’m just thinking of how I will miss you.”
Nathan chuckled but didn’t say a thing.
Minutes passed before Cindy spoke up again, “so have you come up with an excuse to not attend the wedding?”
“No, but I still have three days to think,” he smiled.
Cindy nodded and sighed, then after a while, she asked, “Nathan, how about we do things this way?”
“What?” he looked at her.
“Obviously she is getting married on Saturday, how about if after college, we are both still single, then we give each other a try? She would be married for five years by then and obviously you would have gotten over her. What do you think?”
Nathan thought about it, “that doesn’t mean you would purposely stay single right?”
“No,” she shook her head, “we can date people but after graduation and we have no one that we are serious with then we meet and give ourselves a try?”
After a long while of silence, Nathan nodded, “that would be interesting.”
Cindy smiled, “thanks.”
“But you have to promise me,” Nathan began, “you won’t break up with anyone if you found out that I’m single.”
Cindy nodded with a smile, “I promise.”
“That’s good then,” he smiled and then the silence took over again. Some minutes passed and Nathan stood up, “I have to go, I will see you in school tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Cindy said standing up, “I guess we have to come up with a breakup scene in school.”
“We were never dating.”
“They believe we are,” she shrugged.
“Nah, we would just leave them, they would die it off on their own.”
Cindy nodded, “okay then,” she replied and then walked him outside where he got into his jeep and drove off.
***
The days flew by in the blink of an eye and before Nathan knew it, tomorrow was Saturday and Tracy’s wedding. It still sounds unbelieving to his ears that she would be getting married to another man while carrying his child. His mom had found out that she was pregnant yesterday and he had spent the whole night wondering if she would still be happy if he told her he is the father. He parked in front of his house while staring at hers, two cabs had dropped a lot of people off and Tracy and his mom were welcoming them. From their discussion last night, he knew who they are, they are Gary’s friends and family who wanted to witness his wedding and they are going to stay in the hotel tonight and tomorrow night before leaving on Sunday.
He heaved a sigh watching as his mom was all smiles and welcoming the people in while Tracy was dragged around by Gary in the name of introducing her. He should be there, by logic he should be with them, welcoming his in-laws, but how can he do that? Not only where they taking the woman of his dreams away from him but they were also stating a claim on his child, his first blood. He sighed and sniffled, wiping away the tear that trailed down his cheek as he kept on watching them.
As if finally feeling his presence, Tracy turned to him and their eyes met and he was glad he was a little far from her and she couldn’t see his tears, the last thing he wants now was her feeling sorry and apologizing again when tomorrow she is going to seal her fate with a cheating man. She hadn’t confronted Gary about his latest escapade and when he asked her, she had said it was not necessary and that it would only bring problem and her condition really doesn’t need that problem and she was right. He wouldn’t want her developing any issue with her pregnancy because of these emotional traumas they have been going through of recent.
Perhaps noticing that Tracy’s mind was not with them after the taxis drove off, Lucy turned to her and followed her gaze to see her son sitting in his car and with no intention of coming close. She waved at him and urged him over. She could see the reluctance in him but he still started the car and drove closer and she wondered why, he could have just walked over. “Are you okay?” she asked when he replaced the space the two taxis had occupied.
Nathan nodded, “yeah.”
“Great, Gary just arrived with his family, I’m pretty sure you saw them going in just now. Why don’t you get down let’s go greet them.”
“I will do that later tonight mom; I still need to pick up something for Steven.”
“Oh, okay then, see you at dinner,” Lucy smiled and then patted Tracy on the shoulder before entering the house to entertain their guests.
Finally alone, Tracy walked closer to the car and got in. She smiled seeing the shock on his face but made no comment about it. “Drive,” she said.
“Where to?” Nathan asked as he started the car.
“Anywhere but here.”
“Won’t you be missed?”
“Who cares, they will see me soon enough won’t they?” she turned to him, “Nathan I need some air, if not I’m afraid I’m going to collapse.”
Nathan sighed and put the gear in drive, going down the street with no destination in mind. “Tomorrow is the big day huh,” Tracy said as she heaved a deep sigh and closed her eyes, resting her head on the headrest. “It still feels like a dream. Granny called this morning saying she couldn’t make it, she couldn’t find anyone to look after the animals in her absence. But that’s good though, I don’t want her around.”
Nathan listened to her silently and kept driving down the road and soon, they ran out of a straight road and so he parked. He heaved a sigh and stared at the setting sun, wishing internally that it would set with him.
“Lucy told me you have her contact aunt Jennifer that you want to visit for holiday,” Tracy said and Nathan nodded. “It’s still school days.”
“After graduation.”
Tracy smiled but it was obvious that it was pained, “you put Cambridge didn’t you?”
Nathan ran his fingers through his hair and sighed in the place of words.
Tracy heaved a deep sigh, “You want to live in London now?”
“If Aunt Jennifer let me,” he gulped and licked his lips.
“She will let you, she complains that you don’t visit after all,” she heaved another sigh. “I will miss you, very much but in this case, it’s the best,” she closed her eyes and the tears trailed down her cheeks, she wiped them away. “I’m sorry that you have to move away from your mom and home because of me. I know leaving her side was never in your dictionary,” she sniffled, “but you know you don’t have to, rather I will move away. I have punished you enough; taking you away from your mom doesn’t sound good to me.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I will really need a change of environment to get over this, so, I want to go, if not for any other thing but to regain myself.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Stop apologizing,” he interrupted and licked his lips. “But I swear to God Trace,” he sniffled and heaved a deep long sigh, “when I finish school and he is still hurting you, I am taking you away and I don’t care what anyone has to say.” He turned to her with his red eyes, “I am taking you and him away, do you understand me?”
Tracy nodded and leaned over the console to hug him, “thank you,” she whispered in his ear, “for understanding.” She hugged him and he held her tighter. Minutes passed and she leaned away a little to look into his eyes, “you still have the most beautiful bluest eyes I have ever seen.”
Nathan chuckled, “you wish he will have it?”
“I wish he will have it.”
He smiled and kissed her forehead, “I had a dream he is a girl,” he chuckled.
Tracy shrugged, “I will love her nonetheless.”
Nathan smiled softly and his gaze went to her lips and without thinking, he claimed her lips with his and Tracy gave in, kissing him more passionately than ever.