Messy - Abby Anderson x Fem Reader

Chapter 5 - Need to hold you.

Owen is dead.

...

I don't really know what to say, but there's so much I'm feeling. Am I sick? My eyes sting but I'm not crying and while my heart feels heavy, my throat feels like it's closing up the more the image of his dead face permeates my thoughts.

His blood has pooled under the double doors near him and they're right in my sight as I sit on the cold floor of the main aquarium room. My rear stings with the harshness of the low temperature and slowly numbs from the long time I've been like this. My knees are tucked into my chest while I keep my arms tightly wrapped around my shins, my chin resting on my wet knees.

Am I crying?

I feel my nose running but I can't lift my wrist to wipe my face. I'm so close to his body that I still smell the stench and the fresh blood.

Mel is... I don't know where she is. She said she was going to get some blanket or something but then again, I couldn't really look at her as she spoke. She wasn't even speaking, it was pure whispers and even those were almost incoherent.

I was supposed to come here to warn Abby, to save Abby. Would Owen have died either way? I don't know if I regret coming... I wasn't supposed to see either of them again.

I prioritised Mel even though she was already safe and away from Ellie. Owen was the one in danger.

I should've ran to save Owen. Abby would've wanted that... right?

God, why am I so fucking- Of course she fucking would. That's her... love.

Breathe. Just breathe. You're forgetting to breathe, Y/N.

In. And out.

I can't stop seeing his dead eyes.

Focus. In. And out.

He needed me. And I left him to be murdered by Ellie.

An unfamiliar sob breaks me out of my thoughts and my sight finally focuses, the blurry image I saw before now becoming a little clearer. I look at the doors where there's the sound of a thump and another choked sob coming from behind. Then retching.

Is that... Abby?

Owen needed you, Y/N, and you left him to be murdered. What if Abby needs you now?

I almost stand.

Why would she want you? You let Owen die. You weren't thinking.

Almost.

I see Mel approach me from the corner of my eye but I avoid looking at her as much as I can. I just know that if I look at her, I'll break down into a mess. God, she probably hates me for not saving her boyfriend, for not saving the father of her child.

"Abby's back," I mutter, my voice cracking. I just wanted to break the silence, unable to handle the tense atmosphere. Out of shame, I lower my head and bury my face in my wet knees. I notice that Owen's blood, which stains my hands and legs, has dripped to the floor beneath me and created small blood splatters.

There's silence, and then Mel's footsteps fade as she walks through the double doors.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying not to drown in the spiral of thoughts in my mind.

"Abby..." It's an unfamiliar voice, one belonging to a kid.

There's another sob, a little clearer this time now that the door is open.

I can't tell what's going on but there's more sobbing, more retching and small murmuring among the three in the other room. Slowly, I lift my head and blink, letting my eyes adjust to the light.