Messy - Abby Anderson x Fem Reader

Chapter 7 - I still care.

The beginning of our little adventure began quite awkward and tense, and more importantly, awkward. Abby wouldn't speak or look at me, instead staying behind with Mel. Lev walked between Abby and I who was at the front with Alice limping by my side. My steps were slow to adjust to hers so that we could all make it.

As soon as we made it downtown, I proposed the idea of me going alone into one of the buildings while they relax so that Mel takes it easy despite her own protests. Luckily, it went well. I mean, why wouldn't it? Despite Mel's worry, I knew I could handle anything on my own. I've been alone for years.

When I got back to the group, I had managed to fill two of our backpacks with dry food which I picked out based on whether it seemed pleasant or not. Lev carried one while I carried the other.

We've been walking for around a week now, taking occasional breaks due to Mel. Abby and I haven't spoken the whole way and we've shared awkward glances which definitely made Lev feel awkward.

I continue walking in just my tank top, having used my shirt to rip up small makeshift bandages for Alice's legs. Alice limps behind with Abby and Lev as I've taken a rest from carrying her through some muddy terrain. Though, I did slip and had a branch cut into my side lightly.

My arms and feet ache as I walk ahead of all the others but soon enough I notice a river up ahead that I recognise. I sigh in relief and speed up a little towards it, growing excited. We must be close to Idaho. I can't wait to be home.

"Y/N? Hey- wait!" Mel's voice calls out but she doesn't speed up. Another pair of footsteps hurries up to go after me as I approach the river and creep down the steep bank to get closer to the water. I probably look like a disgusting mess but I need to see myself.

"Careful! It's steep!" I call back to whoever ran after me, too distracted as I finally look into the water at my reflection.

Jesus fucking Christ, I look like shit.

I grimace at the sight of my bruise on my cheekbone and I lift my fingers to slowly touch my face, making myself wince in pain. Purple circles paint my skin under my eyes, dust litters my skin, and my lips are chapped. I knew I was a little dehydrated.

Slowly, I pull back from the water and lie on my back, allowing myself a moment to rest from our journey. My chest heaves up and down as I take deep breaths and drape my arm over my eyes.

"You okay?" Lev asks quietly from the top of the bank. I don't look at him but I hold up a thumbs up with my free hand. He doesn't say anything after that.

Alice's soft whines though, get louder as she limps to Lev, looking down at the river bank, tempted by the body of water. Lev speaks softly to her and his voice fades as they head back towards Abby and Mel.

As the sun begins to set, I urge Mel to lay down in the makeshift bedroll I prepared for her. We've all made ourselves comfortable in a small shed I had built with Leanne the last time we were here and had to hide from a group. There are some photographs littered about as well as small pieces of jewellery, books, and odd items of clothing. Despite the mess, it's cosy - not temperature wise but... you get the gist.

"We can stay here for a day if you feel like you need it," I mumble to Mel as she lies down and I push my bag towards her if she needs the support. My eyes watch as she grunts and gets comfortable against the wall.

"Yeah, I just- I'm really exhausted. A day would be fine," she breathes out, cradling her belly as she leans her head against the wall and closes her eyes. I nod to myself in response and slowly stand up, rubbing my knees as I do so.

Lev has decided to set his stuff beside Abby who's sat in the most secluded corner of the shed, occupied with her own bag. Alice lies at her feet, already sound asleep. I snap my gaze away from here, feeling as though she'd hate me staring.

I clear my throat and turn to a small cupboard near the door. I open the squeaky door and scan the contents for anything I might have left behind out of curiosity. There's a few journals stacked upon each other and cobwebs which make me grimace but I feel like reading through an old journal.

I turn back to see if anybody's watching me in particular and I take one of Leanne's journals, closing the cupboard. Then I make my way out of the shed and back towards the river.

Settling down on the damp grass, I rest the journal in my lap and begin to read through it with the remaining light from the sun.

Eventually, I notice myself squinting to read some words on the page and I sigh softly at the realisation that I should probably get back to the others. Closing the journal, I stand from the grass and begin to head back towards the small hut, not focusing on any of our surroundings.

The door creaks loudly as I push it open slowly and I wince at the noise. Slowly, I step inside and close the door, quietly stepping over to my own corner by the door. It's the coldest place but that's fine, I hope so.

I sit down on my own little makeshift bedroll as I plop the journal beside me and my mind begins to swarm with memories of Leanne, which comfort me and distract me from the current awkwardness between Abby and I. I really need to apologise to her, but she did put me through hell. Some part of me wants her to tell me that she realises she wasn't interested in women so that I can forget about ever having a chance with her. But then...

I think I still love her.

But what if she's still in love with Owen?

Fuck, what am I thinking. She's grieving and I'm assuming she'll just move on and choose me. Go to fucking sleep, Y/N.

A few hours into the night and I find myself waking up for the third time. I grunt in annoyance and turn on my side, trying to find a position in which I'd be comfortable sleeping but I just can't stop shivering. I can feel my arms harden like icicles and my fingers become a little numb so I try to tuck them into the pockets of my trousers. My throat even feels cold and sore as well as my ears and my breasts and... just everything.

"Fucking...bullshit..." I mutter, huffing out as I frown and try to close my eyes again, bringing my palms up to my mouth to breathe out into them for warmth.

"Hey, girl..." Abby's quiet mumble makes my eyes shoot wide open. I try to slump in my corner in hopes of her not realising I'm still awake but then I realise she's only speaking to Alice who has started to get up from Abby's legs.

I hold my breath, not wanting to alert Abby that I'm awake. Alice's paws pat against the cold wooden floor and I can hear her getting closer.

Don't rat me out, you damned dog.

She sniffs my thigh before moving up to my torso and I almost shudder at the warmth of her fur. Oh my god, please let me hug you, you beautiful dog. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Abby's silhouette shift to sit up, trying to see through the darkness at where Alice has gone.

The warmth that Alice is giving makes me just want to cuddle her and I can't help myself as I lift my arm which she luckily takes as an invitation to lie right beside my chest. My arm drapes over her body gently, avoiding her bandaged leg, and I bury my face into her fur.

I don't hear anything from Abby for a moment and I can feel myself drifting back into sleep as the heat soothes my trembling body. And just before I black out, I feel a blanket drape over me.