Lust over Love

Chapter 5 : Badges and Logic

Drifting onto the horizon of the unknown. The lonely sound of my conscious replaying my inner thoughts. The faint sound of laughter from past memories and the faded smell of nostalgic experiences overcoming my senses. In the distance the small sound of glasses clinking together. The chitter chatter of background conversations. Lo-fi type music gradually getting louder as I near the commotion. Vision slowly becoming sharper and less groggy. Light begins to fade in... getting brighter, evermore luminous... to the point where I have no choice but to close and shield my eyes. A few moments later, the intense glare dissipates. I open my eyes. There I am... back at the bar. Sitting, looking straight forward with my dark colored assumed to be whiskey mixed with coke with a peculiarly thinly sliced lime lying slightly sideways on the rim. I can still hear that song playing over the juke box, but just as before I am too intoxicated to make out any of the words being said but I still feel as though I know it word-for-word. The moment I crave more than anything else in the day. The sound... I hear it... the door opening slowly, the sound of the most alluring footsteps you'd ever hear. She walks in... perfectly... FLAWLESSLY. Each step creating an orchestra of tension and desire. I will never get over the way she looks in that beautiful black skintight dress, dazzling white gold rings she always wears on her thumb and index finger of her left hand combined with a black leather bracelet on her right wrist with a worn-out jewel. I can't help but feel like it's her most precious piece of jewelry. It's the only accessory she wears that isn't meant to capture the attention of people who lay eyes on it. It must mean so much to her. Swinging her little black suede purse from her fingertips with that unrecognizable unique logo. Diamond earrings that reflect any essence of light in the room. Earrings fit for a queen and finally resting on her smooth goddess like neck... a gorgeous silver necklace with... hold on... it can't be. Her necklace. The very same one I see every night. I've broken up and mentally identified every piece of her outfit a hundred times before. Every night WITHOUT fail. It's impossible... can I just be too drunk? Her necklace... the one I see every night... no longer has the ring dangling on it. The ring with the small engraving to fine for me to ever make out what it says for where I'm seated. Its just... NON-EXISTENT. WHERE DID IT GO!? Her necklace is still in place so it couldn't have fallen off. Step after step... getting closer and closer. Heart thumping in my chest. My breath is getting exponentially deeper. Her lips... supernaturally calling me without so much as a single motion. My body tensing up, I couldn't help but close my fists. She's about to turn the corner of the bar... the outline of her face reaching the end of the shadows slowly converting over into the light. Reaching the final lowlight lamp that always obscured her face whenever she entered. But... what is this? In my left palm. I feel something. An object as sturdy as metal and as warm sunlight. I glance over at my hand, unfastening my grip. Resting in my sweaty palm... I found THE RING!! How did it get to be in my possession? This has NEVER happened before. Questions that I'll never be able to answer. All that's left for me to do is... see her. I look back up patiently waiting. These few moments just before she comes around the corner of the bar completely always seem to be the longest part of my experience. The darkness covering her face retracting. I'm closer to seeing her now than iv ever been before. Then without warning... BOOM! I'm pulled out of euphoria and sucked back into reality.

I woke up in my car moments before sunrise. Just outside The Vaguely Cup. Still feeling the shock of her presence even now as I sit in my seat. I'm not surprised. The ending is always the same. Left in suspense. Forever doomed to live my life wanting what I can never have. My desire... left in a state of unsatisfaction. My body dehydrated beyond belief and my hands... empty. My keys now resting on the passenger seat. If I could just see her face. One time. I...

*clink clink clink*

A loud tap on the driver's side window halts my inner monologue. It's an officer. Tapping at the glass with his flashlight signaling for me to lower my window. Now wide awake and well-aware that I'm back in the real world I follow his instructions...

He was a stern tall man. With stereotypical black shades on and a rugged after-shave shadow outlining his lower face. Seemed to be in his mid-40's.

"Sir you alright?" he asked.

"Me?" as if there was anyone else around. "Oh, yea I'm fine. Speaking honestly, I had a bit too much to drink last night. I figured it would be best to sleep it off. I didn't think it would be any issue officer..."

"Oswell. The names officer Oswell."

With a face made of stone he lowers his hands from his tool belt and continues...

"Well normally that would be the responsible thing to do however... your parked in private property."

"Oh? I wasn't aware, I do apologize. They didn't mention anything to me after I had a few drinks here last night." I stated.

"Drinks? Here?" he asked with a puzzled face. "This Ol' place hasn't been operational since my grandpappy croacked over."

A piercing silence struck our conversation. His engagement switched over from professionally polite to authoritative immediately.

"Sir please step out of the vehicle."

I had no choice but to comply. I opened the door gently, stepped out of my car standing about 2 feet from where he was and closed the door again.

"Ima need to see some identification." He demanded.

I rustled around my attire and manage to find my driver's license and I handed it to officer Oswell.

A look of annoyance is all I see on his face.

"Well what good is an I.D if you can't even read the name that's supposed to be on it? 24 years old... well I suppose that explains the little care you have when it comes to takin care take of yer stuff. You youngins aint the most careful these days. Don't seem to be from round these parts either. Your dressed like some main character of a dark mystery novel aint ya."

He chuckles to himself as he inspects my I.D further. I take the time to recap what happened the night before. I was here, I'm sure of it. I drank with James, and I talked with Kat and... over there! The bud of the cigarette I had smoked the night before when I had my one on one with James laying exactly where I had tossed it before returning inside. "Hasn't been open since his grandfather died" ... must be out of his damn mind. No one is going to tell me I wasn't here last night. I inspected the small establishment from where I stood. The front door was dusty, the glass stained beyond repair. The outer layer of the walls seems stripped away. mold and grout covering almost every corner. Not an essence of life other than me and officer Oswell. From a logical point of view... it seems as though he is right. This place seems as though it hasn't been touched in years. But I KNOW the truth. I was here with Ol' James Bellamy. The kind of guy that appears one day and just sticks to you like a moth to a flame, and Kat... a gift from the universe to any man that lays eyes on her.

"Alrighty, heres your I.D back. Go on get your wits back, lord knows I had my fair share of late nighters. But then you best get on outta here ion want you causin any trouble in my town you got that boy? "He said.

"Absolutely" I respond.

Officer Oswell continued on his way.

I open the door to get back inside my car when I feel something sharp... INSTENSE AND SHOCKING BEHIND MY EYE. AHHHHHHH! Like a volt of electricity coursing through my head. I drop to the floor with one knee just leaning on the driver's seat. Now looking at the pedals. I see something. Lodged behind the brake and the carpet. It looks like THE RING! I swipe it like a starved scavenger but this time it will never leave my sight. I wonder... just an idea. I slide the ring slowly on my ring finger. It's a perfect fit.