𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄. Blue Lock

Addiction

To be or not to be. Did he like you, or did he not? To be or not to be. That is the question. A question so obvious that he had to deny it. "I need to leave." He was rushing away as quickly as he humanly could. He didn't understand how he was feeling, and he needed space to think about it. He didn't understand why he felt this way about her. He didn't understand why he so badly wanted to never leave.

Addiction is something he had always been familiar with. His addiction to football, his addiction to high expectations. But addiction to a person was never something that had ever come across his mind before. Because there had never been a person to make him feel this was. He didn't understand the idea of his joy coming from something other than the field. He'd always had an unhealthy addiction to football, yes. But this was something he could not even fathom.

You looked at him. You didn't know if you had done something wrong, but your head hurt. Your head really hurt that morning. Nothing was clear. "Can you please stay here?" Your hand grabbing his arm sharply. His eyes widened as he simply stared at you. He looked away from you. The regret painting on his face, but it hurt too much. He needed time alone, and for once, he didn't think it was okay to sacrifice himself for an addiction. That itself was healthy.

But the way your face scrunched up made his breath become shallow. "I have to go." His voice was firmer, sharper. It wasn't loud like he usually was. It was cold: so cold that you could feel it freezing your heart. "Then go." He didn't understand. He could feel you matching his tone. You were unhappy with him, and that was what he wanted the least right now. He needed space. He needed time to drown in the field. He needed time to focus on his desire to become better. He needed time to decide if it was truly okay to feel what he did.

He needed to know if he himself was okay with this situation. He didn't know if he was okay with having such strong feelings. He slid up from the couch they laid on. The couch felt empty to you once he was off. It felt so unfamiliar without someone else in it. "Go." You reminded him. He turned his back to you as he walked away. He set one last glance your way before exiting. The house becoming emptier. But you wouldn't blame yourself for an action like this. You didn't want it to be your fault.

Not one bit. It was not your fault. You begged your brain to let you think such a thought. Pleading desperately for that thought to stay as something you believed. You sighed. Your head was pounding as you reached for your phone slowly. You unlocked it. It would have been fun if he was right by your side. However, to you, it seemed as if he just wanted to get away from you as quick as possible. It was as if he woke up realising that he never wanted to have met you.

You hated the idea of that. The notifications flooded. Everyone was asking what you did. Wondering why Raichi seemed so drained as he came back. What you had done? You gripped your phone a little too tightly. My fault? Why is it my fucking fault. Heavens knows they can't blame you like this either. You were human too.

Rincepie♡

Rincepie
Are you okay?

Unlukewarm
Don't worry about me, I'm alright now that I'm talking to you

Rincepie
You aren't. Liars are lukewarm

Unlukewarm
I'd never lie to you.

Rincepie
You aren't okay, just be honest. I don't think it's your fault.

Unlukewarm
Isn't it? Why aren't they asking if I'm okay too?

Rincepie
I'm asking, isn't that enough?

Unlukewarm
It should be, really.

Rincepie
In the end, isn't it okay?

Unlukewarm
Yeah, I guess it's okay

Rincepie
Look I've got to train. Don't stress about these lukewarm idiots, okay?

Unlukewarm
Okay I'll try

Rincepie
Go make sure you eat and all

Unlukewarm
You should take breaks too.

—☆—

You put the phone down. Why was it only one person there who gave a damn about you? Only one. In a way it wasn't like you to complain. You couldn't. You couldn't bear the fact that their concern was edged at Raichi and not you. And you knew, truly that that made you a bad person even if it was for just that moment. Even if the world tried to see the good in you.

How you did it you didn't know. But what you did not know was how emotionally reliant you might become for Rin. Clueless.

—☆—
You guys don't understand I go through this hell for you all. The writing bug is so horrible to deal with that I can't stand it at all rn so I had to cut the chapter short.

I'm like frustrated and like genuinely not a good day, but it is my brother's birthday. Well not for much longer Cs it's 10pm. But

Eat well, sleep well, hydrate so that me and you can watch the final moon.