When night fell

11 | floating heads

I don't really remember when or why my behaviour gradually started to change, but what I did know was that I couldn't control myself once my emotions were getting ahead of me.

It was on a Thursday after school. During the breaks I had gotten into some fights with a few peers, the reason too vague for me to remember. It had negatively lowered my mood, so I wanted to go to the farm to do some practice. Mr. Wood, Unc Teddy's brother, still hadn't taught me any tricks when it came to steer wrestling, but I had watched enough videos to know how it worked and I was sick of practicing with sheep.

So right after school, I made my way over to the farm, knowing Mr. Wood worked somewhere else on that day. I tacked up their Welsh pony, brought him over to the riding ring and tied the rope to the wooden fence, wrapping a rope around one of the calf's neck.

With much struggles as the bull was already stronger than me, I had pushed him into the ring. Once I dragged myself upon the pony's back, I trotted around for a while, trying to get near the steer, bummed that I couldn't have him trapped in the fences so I could have a fair start.

I swung the rope around a couple of times, missed, tried again. Eventually, my rope got ahold of the young steer, I jumped off my pony and tried to wrestle with it by pushing it to the ground. However, the young steer's horns had already started to grow and with one bump against my head, I flew to the ground, laid there for a few minutes before the blackness went away and I remembered where I was.

Standing up, I remember feeling enormously dizzy and nauseous, my vision blurry. I couldn't really understand what had happened. I leaned against the fences, my eyes rolling to the back of my head a couple of times.

When I had caught my breath, I felt a strong hand around my wrist.

"Have you gone mad?!" It was Mr. Wood. "That was really, incredibly stupid of you, do you know that? I could see you from where I was driving with the car. You're going home."

"But you.. but you would know a cowboy only learns the tough way." I had managed to slip out.

"By stealing someone else's cattle and horses, while being unexperienced? That isn't going to teach you anything." His words were harsh. It hit me, deeply. He hadn't spoken to me like that before. I knew I really had done something bad.

When he had brought me home, the second lecture began. "This is why I don't want you to play out this sport. Your head was hit, Benjamin. By a steer!" Papà shook his head, disbelief stood in his eyes. "Irresponsible. I cannot believe you did this, Benjamin. I expected better from you."

Frustrated tears had rolled down my cheeks, but I was too exhausted and nauseous to speak. When papà had calmed down, we visited the first aid, where they told us I had a concussion and had to take it easy for at least a few days.

Papà had kissed my face, with a deep sigh. "I heard there was a free spot in Nolan's football team, are you sure you don't want to take a look, at least?"

"I don't want to play football!" I had screamed in his face. "I hate football! And besides, you can get a thousand balls smacked against your face during one game! Now that is irresponsible!"

Papà had dragged me over to my bedroom when we had returned home, and tucked me in. "Try to get some sleep. You need the rest." He wanted to kiss my face, but I turned away from him. Why did he always hold me back from doing the things I loved in life? I simply couldn't understand it.

A week or two later, I was back on my feet, was it carefully. Papà restricted me from going to Mr. Wood's house for a while, only to learn from my mistake. I didn't think it was a mistake, I thought it had only made me stronger, more experienced to become a cowboy.