When night fell

17 | chocolate strawberries

My eighteenth birthday was on a Sunday. The day before I turned eighteen, Amelie had wanted to take me somewhere. I had managed to take the day off at Mr. Wood's farm, he dismissed me with a mischievous smile. Her parents liked to have her home on Sundays, hence why we spent the day together on a Saturday.

Although the grieve classes had stopped years back, nothing had ever come in between our friendship. I think sharing such deep thoughts and connections starting from a young age, was what had made the foundation of our friendship so close and firm. We had shared thoughts that we'd never shared with anyone else. And even though Nolan and I had periods where we didn't speak as much; Nolan telling me that he was fed up with my behavior, which is why he would spend more time with Arthur and Eric, I knew Amelie's love for me was unconditionally and I could always crawl back to her whenever things went tough. I hoped I gave her the same feeling.

Amelie had bought me a train ticket to the Lake District, where we would take a hike and have a pizza later. I loved the idea, but with my thoughts drifting off to the conversation I'd had with Colter a few weeks ago, I wasn't always present with my mind.

I think Amelie must have felt it. Whenever she would talk, she sometimes stopped and waited for as long as it took me to notice the silence. I would apologize, sincerely, but a minute later, it would happen again.

"What is it?"

Sighing, we stopped walking for a moment, our legs burning from the hike up. The outside temperature wasn't necessarily warm, but sweat trickled down my body by the activity. Everything inside me screamed that I had to tell her what was on my mind, that I had to tell her about Colter. We had always told each other everything about certain topics, so why wouldn't I now? I wasn't entirely sure, but maybe I was afraid that she would hold me back, too. That she would tell me that Papà genuinely came to watch me. That he genuinely cared for me, and that it was partly the reason why he was so hesitant about the things I wanted to do. I had heard it before, but something inside me screamed that I didn't want to buy that. "I'm sorry. It just feels weird, turning eighteen."

"That's not it." Amelie said, eyes raking over my face.

"Remember I told you that I would drink wine on my eighteenth birthday?" With Mamma, but I didn't want to bring her up again. It was true. It hurt. But it wasn't entirely the reason why my mind was off.

Amelie's features softened. "I'm truly sorry, Ben. I know how much you would have wanted that to happen."

I was happy she was buying it.

We continued to hike through the rolling hills, which slowly turned into lofty peaks, the view becoming more outstretched in front of us. The scenery was gorgeous. We enjoyed it in silence for a while. I noticed Amelie glancing at me so now and then. I'd look back at her, give her a smile.

When we had to stop for a shepherd herding his sheep across the path, we took it as a moment to rest for a while. We watched the sheep bleating loudly, dribbling away as the Border Collie barked at them. "Aren't they just so funny?" Amelie laughed softly, it was a sound that made me feel safe, how stupid that may have sound.

"They are." I agreed, but secretly wondered how it would be to herd cattle in the mountains, on horseback, lasso in my hands. That dream had never left my mind, and Colter had fed it enormously. The past couple of days, I had contacted him a couple of times more. The money wasn't an issue anymore, I just needed to see when the time was right.

An hour later, we decided to sit down upon the grass, with on our left side a lofty peak, and on the right side, an enormous lake. "Thank you for taking me here, Amelie. It's truly wonderful."

"Isn't it?" Amelie agreed, taking out some fruits and biscuits. We drank some water, chatted away about the scenery for moments long. We watched people walk by, while we ate our snacks, greeting them with nods and smiles.