***TW for discussion of depression***
Guy studied me for a minute when I'd told him to tell me.
"I guess this would have to start when I met Ingrid in my freshman year. She found me on campus as I was heading toward the field for football practice. She said she'd seen me play the previous weekend in the school's first home game, and she was awestruck that I was a freshman and I'd started," Guy said. "I wouldn't have thought much about it, writing her off as a groupie, but she told me her father was a sports agent for some big name players. I thought she might be good to know because in four years, if everything went well, I might need an agent."
"And that's when she began influencing you."
"About the game, yes, at that point. She introduced me to her dad, and she began giving me messages from him about things I could do to improve my game -- diet changes, workout regimens, speed drills, things like that. She influenced the way I approached football, and I listened because it was coming from her father and he repped the biggest names in pro football. The NFL was his specialty niche in sports."
His hand absently rubbed what I knew was my promise ring under his shirt.
"She started some shit, really subtly for the first two years. It wasn't that often, and I didn't pay attention because I knew it wasn't true for you, but I realized later that just because you might not believe something, once it's been said and is out there, you can't unhear it and it starts to make its way into the recesses of your brain. Ingrid told me that most long-term relationships broke up before a man went into the NFL not because he broke up with his girl, but because she broke up with him. Some bullshit about the pressure being too much for most girls and the fear of him changing because of the money and lifestyle was overwhelming. I always told her she didn't know you and then changed the subject, and she wouldn't mention it again for months and months. Whenever she did mention it, it was always like a hit and run."
"And you still hung around her."
"Yeah, I did. She was the only one at school who saw my skills through the eyes of a future agent, not as a groupie, and she pushed girls away and told them to back off because I was in a serious relationship. Ingrid knew how serious I was about you and she respected that."
"Mmmhmmm."
"Eden, it sounds one way now, but I didn't have the benefit of hindsight back then. All I could base it on then was the way she reacted about you -- and she was protective of my relationship with you. It was only later that I discovered she was pushing other women away not to guard my relationship with you, but to make room for only herself eventually. But I figured that out later. And it could have been naïve of me, but that's also one of the lessons I learned in hindsight. She never once made a move on me or looked at me like she wanted me and she was constantly dating different guys that she really liked. She told me that not being a man whore was looked on favorably by teams, so a solid, long-term relationship was important and she told me she admired me staying true to you and not falling prey to all the girls who were after me."
"She played you."
"Yeah. Around my junior year, Ingrid began dealing with me more professionally because she was gearing up to become a sports agent for her dad's agency. She advised me on the proper conduct to become more attractive to NFL teams, she set up what she called do-gooder photo ops, ways to get my name out there in positive ways."
"So altruistic of her."
"She made no secret that she wanted to rep me with her father's help and sign me with his agency. And she was focused on that. Never made a move toward me, and I had a lot of practice dodging girls trying to get to know me."
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WORK IN PROGRESS: Guy and Reason
RomanceHe cheated on me right before the NFL draft. He blew up our dreams and for three years, I refused to talk to him or talk about him. Then one summer, when I was home unexpectedly, he came home, too. Guy was done being ignored. And he was done living...