Jasmine

18. Let's Try Again

Brandon lets go of Jasmine, backing away. 

"What the h*ll is your problem!" He screams at her, she no longer crying.

"I'm so sorry Brandon," she pleads without answering.

"Why were you crying just now. I thought you loved me."

"I do. You're just rushing everything; I can't keep up with you!"

"Rushing? I kiss after the first date! We've met how many times?"

"After the first date? That's way too soon!"

"Way? But I told you my hormones cannot stand repression. Do you not care at all that I'm hurting?"

"Hurting? Okay I think that's being a bit dramatic."

"Clearly you're not attracted to me then."

"I get that it burns, but it's just discomfort, not hurt."

"Discomfort? You're insane!"

"Brandon! Be nice."

"It hurts!"

"Fine, it hurts!" Jasmine exclaims in a whisper. "Please let's not shout at each other," she entreats. Brandon rolls his eyes and sits back on his chair. "Take that energy and use it towards working out or something of the like," Jasmine lets out into the silence as she looks through her window. And then an awkward quietude ensues until Brandon says, "I think I might have made the biggest mistake of my life with you. 

"Don't Brandon. You're overreacting," Jasmine voices. "You can't always give up on us like this-" 

"That beats not taking us seriously to begin with!"

"Brandon please don't yell, people are starting to stare," Jasmine warns as a pedestrian who was crossing the street places a thumb up - asking if she's okay. Jasmine sticks her thumb up to reassure him she is in no danger."

"Couldn't you at least have warned me?" Jasmine then starts at Brandon.

"About wanting a kiss?" He states before laughing. "The unexpected happens regularly Jazz. Life hits one as it will. Who are we to direct our own lives?"

"You laugh, but for this, I could have been better prepared. I've been up since 5am - I'm exhausted, I look a mess, and not to mention I don't know when last I ate and if my breath is fresh. You need to consider things like this. I've never done this before, however it turns out will be imprinted to my memory forever. I can never undo it."

"Well it's already happened. His lips touched mine and then I cried like I'd just been raped. How's that for a memoir?" 

Jasmine wants to argue over the nuances, but she gets what Brandon is saying: strictly speaking, they have already kissed. "So now what?" Jasmine poses surly.

"You already know what I think about this situation. So, what is your decision? Am I staying or am I going?"

"Brandon!"

"Answer the question Jazz. My patience has dwindled."

"Of course I want you to stay-"

"So, let's try this again," Brandon says leaning in towards her.

"What? Right now?" She asks covering her face. Brandon pulls away angrily and Jasmine says "Okay, fine. I get that it's now, so do you have gum or something?"

Brandon smiles opening his jacket, taking out a half-consumed roll of Mentos. Jasmine smiles back, and she giggles when she takes the sweets from his hand - he can see her hand tremble. Once she puts a sweet in her mouth Brandon receives the mints and then engulfs Jasmine's hand in his. 

"Relax, I'm not about to eat you, okay?" He utters with a gentle tone. A serene love for Brandon is ignited through this gesture. She pulls closer to him and closes her eyes waiting for contact. Brandon places a soft kiss on her lips and stops; places another and pauses; and one more before he breaks off. Jasmine opens her eyes relieved he didn't take it as far as she thought he would, but that's when Brandon gently places his hand above her eyes closing them. He tenderly holds her by the neck with both hands and presses a faintly open mouth on her lips. Jasmine wants to stop but she doesn't want to upset Brandon so she opens her mouth slightly too. 

Sensual yet delicate. 

Jasmine is sure she's in love once she opens her eyes, although she hated when his tongue came in her mouth here and there, because this, she found inappropriate for dating. And maybe without tongue is just better, it makes things more ethereal. 

They hug for a good minute before the lovebirds part. Jasmine always thought that kissing like that was reserved for marriage, so she isn't sure whether to tell her mother what happened, or to - out of shame - keep the news to herself.  

Jasmine's mother notices her blush and knows something happened, so to avoid scaring her, Jasmine lets her mother know she and Brandon are thinking of getting married next year, and then as shocked as she is to find this out, Jasmine then adds the bit about her first kiss, so it doesn't sound like she's easy. Her mother is shocked by both titbits thinking that her child had her first kiss at 19 when she almost dated a boy named Warren. Jasmine pulls a face at this stating how glad she is that she waited. Jasmine reminds her mother about church this coming Sunday thinking Brandon expects her family to meet his family soon. Her mother shows no problem with this but asks to meet Brandon before. Jasmine feels silly she never thought of it first and sends Brandon a text about a possible meet before Sunday.  

As Jasmine turns in, she thinks about the kiss and can't help but be gleeful. Although, she also wrestles with darker feelings: she wishes she had waited longer. Fighting a burden of guilt, she goes off to sleep.