Love Me Gradually

Chapter 4

Love Me Gradually
Chapter 4

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*Cookies*

I was too early when I arrived at school. Hindi ko na naman nakasabay si Ryle dahil bigla na lang daw siyang nawala kahapon. I was worried about him, but he doesn't want me to meddle with his business. And that, even if we're friends since childhood, I couldn't cross.

There's a few students who have been organizing their rooms at the meantime since it's still early, and some are doing silly things to kill time. I'm on my way to our classroom. Sa tingin ko ay wala pa ang mga kaklase ko.

And I was right about that. Naupo lamang ako sa upuan ko habang hinihintay na tumakbo ang oras. But it only felt like a whole lifetime dahil masyado pa talagang maaga. It's still 6:30 in the morning and 8:15 pa ang start ng klase namin. I don't know if it's still even possible for me to pass time by only looking outside like an idiot.

I took out a very important box. May yellow pa itong ribbon. I just know that the person I love writing letters for loves the color yellow.

Wala naman ako sa mood na magsulat kaya naisipan kong magbasa na lang since marami-rami naman ang mga naisulat kong liham para sa kanya. I think this is enough for me to kill time while waiting for the others to come.

Binuksan ko ang box at kinuha ang color pink na letter. Ito ang unang letter na isinulat ko, way back when I was in elementary. Doon ko na-discover na bading ako at may crush ako sa kaisa-isa kong kaibigan.

At the time, it was the hardest to control. Doble pa ata ang pagiging delusional ko kesa kay Leo dati. Every small interaction that me and Ryle had, ginagawan ko ng kung ano-anong storya sa utak ko. And suddenly, I didn't notice the time pass, biglang first year high school na kami ni Ryle. Only that my feelings intensified, instead of it fading away. Noong Grade 7 niya lang rin nalaman na baklush pala ang best friend niya. And I'm really grateful he didn't take it negatively. Instead, he was very happy na nag-open up ako sa kanya.

May time kasi noon na may kaklase kaming babae na crush ng lahat sa room. Hindi ko siya bet kasi medyo masama ang ugali niya at dahil nga crush ko si Ryle, naiinis ako tuwing may umaagaw ng atensyon niya sa'kin. And that girl, kuhang-kuha niya ang inis ko.

Noong time na yon, magka-level ang pagiging maldita naming dalawa. Dedma siya sa akin kahit napakapapansin niya. Lahat na lang ata sa buhay niya dati eh binibida niya sa mga kaklase namin, and I was too mean to even care about her.

Tapos one time, we were left alone inside the classroom dahil nagkaroon kami ng away. Ryle was very disappointed in me but I couldn't care less, I was too annoyed at that girl. Hindi naman ako nang-aaway kung hindi ako sinisimulan.

Tapos iyak siya ng iyak sa room no'n, then she asked me why I hate her. She asked me multiple questions and I was too childish that time to admit that I overdid my actions.

Tapos nalaman ko na lang pagkabukas na may crush pala sa akin si girl kaya palagi niya akong ginugulo. She needed help that's why she approached Ryle multiple of times and I thought she liked him.

Ryle confronted me about it. Tapos nasabi ko sa kanya na hindi ako attracted sa mga babae. He learned that I'm gay and fully accepted me the way that I am. About the girl? She moved on from me after hearing I was gay. I actually thought that it was very nice of her dahil naintindihan niya na imposibleng magustuhan ko siya pabalik after hearing of my gender preference.