𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 | 𝖳𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝖠𝗅𝖾𝗑𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋-𝖠𝗋𝗇𝗈𝗅𝖽

13.

𝐉𝐚𝐝𝐞-𝐀𝐧𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬
Birds of a feather
✰

For the past two days, all I could think about was that almost kiss with Trent. If Jude hadn't called, I knew it would've happened. Strangely, I wanted it to happen, which felt unreal. Was I just vulnerable, or did I really want to kiss him? Would that change our relationship?

I was pacing back and forth in my room, trying to make sense of my emotions. After all, this was Trent, for crying out loud. My Trentskii. My best friend, my rock. What am I even thinking? But there was something more there, something I hadn't allowed myself to acknowledge until now.

My mind replayed that moment over and over again. The way he looked at me, his eyes softening, drifting down to my lips. The closeness, the anticipation. My heart pounded just thinking about it.

Why did I want it to happen? I stopped pacing and sat on the edge of my bed, trying to sort through my feelings. Was it because I was feeling vulnerable? My illness had turned my world upside down, and maybe I was just looking for comfort, for something familiar and safe.

Maybe.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't just about that. There was a warmth, a connection between us that went beyond friendship. I felt safe with Trent, yes, but it was more than that. I cared about him deeply, and I couldn't deny the flutter in my stomach when I thought about being closer to him.

Would it change our relationship? The thought made me anxious. Trent and I had been through so much together, and the last thing I wanted was to ruin our friendship. But at the same time, I couldn't ignore my feelings.

My feelings...

My Feelings?!

Do I have feelings for him, or am I just at my lowest point? No offense to him. He had mentioned he would be stopping by, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to face him. Over text, we were good, but would it be awkward?

My mind raced as I tried to sort through everything. Was I really falling for Trent, or was this just a byproduct of my current vulnerability? I flopped back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. The thought of seeing him made my stomach flip, and I wasn't sure if it was excitement or dread.

His text had been so casual: "J you good? Stopping by later." A part of me wanted to see him, to feel that familiar comfort of his presence. But another part of me was terrified of what might happen. Would I blurt out my feelings? Would he notice the turmoil in my eyes?

I sighed, running a hand through what was left of my hair. This was too much to handle. Trent had always been there for me, a constant in my life. But now, everything felt uncertain. The boundaries of our friendship seemed to blur, and I didn't know how to navigate this new territory.

I picked up my phone, staring at his last message. Should I tell him not to come? But then, what kind of excuse could I give? He would know something was up. Trent wasn't stupid. He could read me like a book, which was both comforting and terrifying.

I groaned, burying my face in my pillow. Maybe I was overthinking this. Maybe I just needed to see him, to let things play out naturally. But the fear of the unknown gnawed at me. I didn't want to lose what we had.
Minutes ticked by as I wrestled with my thoughts. I knew I needed to make a decision before he showed up. Taking a deep breath, I decided to text him back.

"Yeah I'm good & okay see you" I typed, my fingers trembling slightly as I hit send.

There. No turning back now. I got up and straightened my room, trying to distract myself from the impending visit. My mind kept drifting back to our almost-kiss, to the way his eyes had softened when he looked at me.