It Could Have Been Gentle - poetry

AutoApology

I've loved you since forever, when we met and even before

Wanted to always be together, you were the only one I adored

I loved your pretty face, high cheekbones and blue eyes

I loved your blonde hair, broad shoulders and strong thighs

I loved your small smile, short quick but bright

And your spilling words, running rude and light

I loved your confidence, the way you sway and saunter

And even your arrogance, enough to kill and conquer

I loved our little moments, small quiet and content

Picking pretty flowers, pink, blue, yellow, and violet

I loved you so much, I loved you for so long

I was so convinced, my love was unconditional and strong

I loved you with my whole heart, until the day you cried

And on that sorry day, my true love began to die

It began slowly. Your hair grayed and thinned

Then the sickness bubbled up, breaking porcelain skin

Your cheeks began to hollow. The flowers began to wilt

The rest of you followed. Legs turned to stilts

Your face began to break off, revealing what was underneath

Red slick flesh, tired muscle, decomposing teeth

Smiles turned to frowns and words disappeared

Confidence nowhere to be found, quickly replaced with fear

Small moments turned smaller, a smile to a nod to a a glance

And for a while we did this dwindling dance

When you waved in public. I quickly turned away

Couldn't bare to be seen with you. Wouldn't dare to say your name

I'm sorry I'm stuck in my sorry ways

I'm sorry I didn't care for you in your dying days

I'm sorry I didn't bring you flowers

I'm sorry I didn't sit and talk for just and hour

I'm sorry for my cruelty, I'm sorry for your pain

I'm sorry I'm not sorry enough to ever love you again