i hear the beeping of the machines. i open my eyes to see the silhouette of hayley by the window. there was only the light of a lamp by my side, but i was able to figure out that it was my best friend. her head was leaning against the window pane, her breath creating small mists of condensation upon the glass.
"hayley?" i said barely even able to get the name out. my voice was faint, and i stuttered as i tried to call her.
"v!" she walked over to me and sat down. my vision blurred, i could barely see her face.
"wait, wait, don't try speaking yet, you need to get used to being up. they had to do something to get them out of your system, they did something where they inserted a tube into your thro- nevermind. i don't even want to think about it. they were operating on your lifeless body..." her voice became faint and i saw the tears build up in her eyes. i rubbed her shoulder to let her know it was okay to cry, and she began to sob. "it's just, i can't believe you almost left, i, i'm so glad you left me that message. if you hadn't, i probably would be trapped in my room. i might not have ever gotten up from my bed. in your voicemail, you said i would eventually forget you, but, i would never forget you. ever."
her crying became worse, and my vision became clearer. i looked at her face, i could see the distress and worry in her eyes, the eyebags on her face, she looked so broken. and i broke her. i never, ever wanted hurt my best friend, but i did.
"are, are you okay?" i say, though i stutter.
"yeah, yeah v, i'm fine." she said quietly. of course she wasn't okay. how could she be? she's been crying this entire time. how long has it been anyways?
"h-hey, hayley? how long has it been? how long have you been like this?" i ask. she could hear the worry in my voice, she hugged me and she tucked her head into the crook of my neck.
"too long." she began to cry more, her words muffled. i wanted to be mad at her, but i couldn't. i never realized that she could have possibly been affected by me leaving. it really hurt to see her in that state.
"how have you been doing?" i asked quietly.
"i-it's been bad. i haven't been sleeping, or eating, all i've been doing is worrying and crying. wh-what you said in your voicemail, it hurt so much. the second i listened to it, i called 911. i-i'm so sorry for being invisible to you. i'm sorry you thought you couldn't talk to me, i'm sorry you couldn't trust me." her words muffled by her cries.
