Beyond Those Eyes. ঌB.K

꒰ა To Love You ໒꒱

✮-The next day!

All morning i kept thinking of Bill and the kiss we shared yesterday. Besides the parts where he was so gentle with me, i felt hesitant.

I was worried, my mental health wasn't doing so well and i was struggling to love myself properly. So i thought, if i wasn't able to love myself properly. How could i with Bill? I wanted to. I wanted to treat him the way he should have been. But i wasn't ready for a relationship yet. All these years i never gave anyone chances to date me, or to wait for me to do so. But with Bill i was desperate because i wanted him.

I kept thinking, was he willing to wait for me like i would for him? I was worried that he would lose interest in the meanwhile and i didn't want that at all.

But i had to get through this instead of keeping it in anyways, so i called him.

He answered the call immediately. "Hallo? Audri?" Bill spoke. "Hii!, i was just calling to ask you to come over? I wanna talk to you about something." I responded a bit shakily. I was nervous. "Oh yeah! Of course, I'll be there. We have band practice anyways over at your house so I'll just arrive early then?" Bill said in a low voice. It was obvious he had just woken up, god his morning voice was something else.

"Oh, okay okay thats great timing! Thank you so much, ill see you later!" I said sugarcoating my anxiety. "Okayy then. Bye pretty girl." Bill said ending the call. Pretty girl?!

I fell asleep to runaway from my thoughts and to not let the overthinking get the best of me. Until eventually, i heard my older brother Georg scream for me. "Au-dri Le-vine!" He said in a singsong mocking tone. "Its your boyfriend!" I woke up immediately. Out of shock, it caused me to fall off the couch and run to the front door. "Wait wait what?!" I said slipping as i got to the door.

Oh no, Bill was there. Bill and Georg both helped me stand up. "Sorry, i just woke up.." i said standing up and fixing my hair. "Ill leave you two. Audri don't eat all of the ice cream left if you guys are gonna watch some silly romcoms" Georg said walking a way and ruffling my hair again.

"Hey, you okay? You look pale?" Bill said walking into our house and shutting the door with one hand and the other on my back. "Come, sit down please." I said a bit shyly.

"Come on, you're starting to worry me." Bill said as he sat down the couch while placing a pillows on his lap. "About yesterday..what are we?" I asked him. "Ohhh, so thats what this is about!" He said with a giggle. I nodded and he responded with. "What do you want us to be?" He asked me with a smile and coming closer towards me. "Bill, i don't think im ready for a relationship yet.." i said. Expecting him to frown. "I don't mind? But..could you explain to me why?" He said, with his smile not leaving his face once.

"Its just, recently..well these past years. My mental health hasn't been doing well and i struggle a lot to love myself..so i thought." I paused for a second holding back my tears, this topic always made me sensitive. "Hey hey, its okay. You can tell me?" Bill said with a comforting hand on my shoulder. "If i cant love myself or take care of me properly, how can i..love you correctly in the manner you deserve? And how could i take care of us?" I said with a worried look on my face. "Audri, I'll wait." Bill said holding my hand.

"I'll wait for you to heal." Bill added while doing the thumb thing as he held my hand. "I don't know how long this might take.." i said. "Well healing doesn't exactly have a due date does it?" Bill said with a slight chuckle. I found it funny so a smile appeared on my face also. "There's my girl." Bill said holding my face after seeing me smirk.

"Audri, i don't care how long it takes ill do it for the both of us. Im willing." Bill said. Hearing these words gave me a peace of mind. "Are you serious about this? Do you promise?" I said holding up my pinky finger. "I promise." Bill said intertwining his finger to make a pinky promise together with me.

"Audri, im still going to openly show my feelings for you and support you no matter what. Ill still take you out on dates? If thats okay! Platonically or romantically or maybe a mix of both? To get to know each other better than before." Bill said with the cutest smile on his face.

"That's great, i would love that!" I said completely hopeful as if a building just got kicked off of my shoulders. "But i promise. I'll learn to love myself the way i should, so i can love you the way you deserve." I said returning the smile. Bill smiled even wider and hugged me. "Its okay, now are you gonna watch us practice later?" He asked me. "Yes, yes i am indeed!" I said responding. He clapped his hands and asked me "Do you wanna watch a movie? Preferably..romcoms maybe? I know both you and i love those." Bill said passing the remote to me. "Ooh oh my gosh lets rewatch "The Notebook"?!" I said excitedly. I loved romcoms!

As we were watching with multiple snacks in our hand, i fell asleep. I always had less energy than everyone due to low iron and anemia so this was normal for me.

Although what wasn't normal, would be me sleeping in front of a person. I don't sleep with people in the same room often unless im really comfortable with the person. Like Georg or my Mom or my dog. So to have fallen asleep on the same couch as Bill, already meant i was adjusting quickly to having him closer than usual.

I felt safe with him.