Let The Darkness In

Part 1 - Stella

Setting: September 24th, 2003

TWs

Strong Language

Alcoholism

Mention of Suicide

Mentions of Death

Mental Illness (Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anorexia Nervosa)

(1354 words)

Stella POV

I woke up to the sound of kids chatting on the floor below me, giving no consideration for the people still sleeping in the house.

Opening up my flip-phone, I check the time. Eight on the dot. Weird, wondering why anybody in the house would be awake this early on the first day of summer.

I get up from my bed, slowly making my way down to the kitchen. My hair unbrushed, my makeup rubbed in my skin since I forgot to take it off the night before, and my breath smelling of whiskey and pálinka.

I am greeted with smiles and waves from the kids sitting in the living room watching Family Guy. I make an effort to smile back, nearly falling to the floor because of my shitty hangover.

"Are you working today? Nobody can watch Alice." Nyx spoke as she walked up from behind me, a bottle of beer in her hand already at eight in the morning. Nyx was the second to oldest in the house, when I was not here, she was basically seen as the mother.

She tries her best to be a good role model for the kids in the house, but ever since she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she tends to slip up. Nyx moved here about three years ago when she finally turned eighteen, not ever wanting to contact her parents again. Nyx is very open about her childhood, not like many of the kids in the house. She is the oldest of four and was unlucky to be the only one who got the same mentally ill gene as her father.

I remember one night, I was sitting around while Nyx and her family was celebrating a Colombian holiday, she called me hyperventilating, barely able to speak because she was crying. She told me that her father had tried to commit suicide in the bathroom of her apartment, and she needed me to pick her up immediately. So I did. That was five years ago, and she had spent more and more time in my house ever since.

"Nobody else can watch her?" I ask. "What about Zara?"

Zara had recently moved in after running away from her home country, Pakistan. She was born there and moved to the US for eleven years, which was when I met her, and then was forced to go back by her parents. When she turned eighteen, she bought a plane ticket to Pennsylvania to get away from life, not ever wanting to go back to the Middle East. And her parents had not contacted her ever since.

Nobody really knows why Zara didn't have much respect for her parents, she just would say that Pakistani parents were not very caring for their children. Zara has been trying to forget everything about her past except for her religion, and I respect that.

Zara was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder called Anorexia Nervosa, as well. I try my best to help her, not knowing anything about eating disorders and how they work, but I try, and so does everyone else.

"Zara is going clubbing tonight with Ava and some other girl named Maddie or something. I'm also working a double shift at the diner so I won't be back until around midnight." She told me.

Ava has been in this house for about three and a half years, one of the longest residents as I call her. Ava was born and raised in Russia for seven years of her life, and moved here with her mom when her dad decided to pack up and leave.

The reason that Ava is always here is because she apparently got into a fight with her mom. Much like Zara, Ava did not have respect for her mother. 'My oma was and probably still is a whore. Ever since we moved here she would bring about three men to the house every week. I couldn't sleep at all. I was very upset because my oma would not pay any attention to me, so we argued.' Ava would say in her thick Russian accent.

Apparently Ava scolded her mother about being a whore, and things got violent. Ava then ran out of her house and went to live with Zara, then they were both brought here. She would go back to grab her things when she knew her mother was at the pub or in the city.

"What about Júlia?" I asked, sitting down on the chair located at the dining room table, which was connected to the kitchen.

Júlia had been here for I think almost three years. Júlia was born in Budapest and moved to the United States when she was ten. When she moved here, she had a twin-house with Brielle, so they had known each other for a long time.

I don't know exactly why Júlia is here, I just remember her pulling up after I told Brielle to come and stay for a while. All I know is that her family had some problems with CPS, and she had to live with a foster family for a while, but escaped after they treated her with disrespect. Nobody in the house knows about her story other than Brielle, and everyone is trying to squeeze just a drop of information out of the both of them.

Brielle was raised here her whole life with her mother and twin sister, but moved here the same time Júlia did. Brielle even had the approval of her mother to be here, just as long as they meet every weekend and call every night.

She is currently in therapy for her borderline personality disorder, in which her biological mother is paying for. Brielle is only enrolled in school while Júlia does school and works at a convenience store with Noah.

"Júlia and Noah are working tonight."

Ever since Noah's parents got a divorce, he had been spending a lot of his time in my house, usually six days a week. There is not much to know about Noah honestly, he is a good kid, very energetic though. He was recently diagnosed with dyslexia so I am currently setting up a 504 plan for him in school. He spends most of his time with Brielle and Júlia, hence the working schedule.

"And Toby can't either?"

Toby was born and raised in the United States with their mom and dad. Sadly, about six years ago, Toby's parents were in a car accident that took both their lives, causing Toby to be sent to an orphanage. I adopted them when they were five years old, and they have been living in my house ever since.

"They are going to their friends house tonight for a sleepover." Nyx told me, cracking open a bottle of beer from the refrigerator.

"Okay fine. I can watch Alice. I will be here all day." I told her.

And last but not least, Alice. Alice was born three years ago in Shijiazhuang, China, and moved here when she was seven months old. I met Alice's mom in Alcoholics Anonymous two years ago and became really good friends with her.

I remember the exact words of the thing she told me, that I will never forget no matter what.

"Please take her. For me."

She asked me to take Alice. She was young, eighteen, she was not fit to be a mother, especially in the city. I felt guilty, a struggling mother asking me while crying to take her baby for their own safety. I said yes. Alice's mother, Yuxuan, gives money every week to help with the child support, refusing to not give me any money when I told her not to.

I let Yuxuan come over whenever she wants to see Alice, but she sometimes refuses to, and I understand.

"Thank you." Nyx told me before walking off, listening to the creaking and cracks from the stairs as she walked up to her bedroom.

I had become a mother. And I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.