Part 3- Júlia

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Setting: November 8th-11th, 2003


TWs

Alcohol

Mental illness

Hallucinations (Visionary, auditory)


(807 words)


Júlia's POV

I was in the car with Stella, driving back from my eye appointment.

About three months ago, I had started to see things, not knowing what to think about it. Oh how I hoped for a simple case of glaucoma, but that was definitely not the case. My doctor told me that there was nothing wrong with my vision. 


I spent some time browsing on Google of what could be wrong with me, because I knew for a fact that there was not something wrong with my eyes.

I never felt the need to tell anybody in the house, not wanting to cause any attention to myself. I don't like the idea of people taking care of me before taking care of themselves.

The first thing that came to mind after researching was Schizophrenia. 

I have never told anyone this, but my mom, my two uncles, and one of my cousins are schizophrenic. I did not spend enough time with my mother to know that hallucinations were a side effect of her mental illness. She was in and out of asylums so I never got the chance to have a conversation with her.

I know I don't have schizophrenia since I wasn't diagnosed, but it was still a feeling in the back of my head. 


I then started to hear things too. I could barely listen to the other people in my house due to the ongoing inaudible conversations happening in my head. 

I have been asked a few times if I was alright, but I tell them I am just tired. 


Setting: November 4th, 2005


But my mental health shouldn't get in the way of my school work. 

I try my hardest to live up to the other people in the house, especially Nyx, who is the only one here to successfully got to college. I knew it was going to be difficult regarding my 50-70% average in all of my classes. But it is difficult for me to concentrate now, since all of the hallucinations had started. 

"I need you to drive me to the synagogue. I lost my license." I sighed as I walked into the room, puffing from the cigarette I held in my left hand.

"You're fifteen, you don't have a license." Zara snickered from the other side of the room, paging through a cook book that I doubted she would be eating in the future. I found it interesting how Zara would always cook meals for us, always make sure we were fed before we went to bed, but yet she would go to sleep hungry. I was concerned for Zara. She had gotten skinner over the past few months. Everyone in the house except for her thinks that she has an eating disorder. 

'We should find her a psychiatrist' Stella says, but I don't think you need a psychiatrist to tell that Zara has trouble eating. You could see her ribs and spine popping out from her body, along with some of the bones in her arms and legs, her collarbone, fingers, even her waist. She only eats one meal a day, sometimes none. 

"It was a fake." I admitted, but knowing that probably wasn't the worst thing I have done while living in this house. 

"Yeah I don't want to using anymore fake licenses, you could get in trouble. I don't want you getting arrested right before the holidays." Nyx spoke as she walked into the kitchen from the living room, placing Alice on a high chair.

She is disappointed in you.

You are ridiculous.

"What holiday? It's November." I asked, cracking open a can of Red Bull from the refrigerator. 

"Thanksgiving."

"Why the fuck are we celebrating Thanksgiving?"

"You do realize not everybody in this house is a foreigner?" Nyx chuckled as Ava walked in with a bottle of Absolute Raspberri Vodka in her left hand. Classic Ava move, never goes anywhere without a bottle of vodka near.

"I'm not a foreigner." She spoke.

"Doesn't matter. Noah, Brielle, and Toby are American, so we are celebrating it."

"Speaking of Thanksgiving, I have a friend that doesn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, do you think she could come here?" Ava asked, leaning her chair back, making me anxious.

"Yeah sure I don't care." 



Sorry this chapter was pretty short, the next one is going to be longer!

I usually only write these when I have time, which is 12-5 in the morning, and that is when I don't pull an all nighter. So I am always sleep-deprived when I write these.

Also, the beginning of this story will be very boring, it is just very difficult to start writing. 




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