You're not special || Heejake

09

After that day of when Jake had caught Heeseung touching himself Jake had been distancing himself from the older. It's not that Jake was uncomfortable but he wasn't sure on how he got turned on. 

He couldn't believe that it was towards himself. 

Jake was insecure, he didn't think he was good looking enough for somebody to jerk off to his photos. I mean yeah.. Heeseung and Jake have had sex but Jake was always self conscience about it. He hated his body, his hair, his face, everything. 

Heeseung had to always reassure Jake that he was beautiful during those moments.

As for Heeseung he wasn't sure why Jake was ignoring him or distancing himself from him completely. There were moments were the older would try talking to his lover but Jake would either have short conversations or he would just completely walk away. He was confused and a bit hurt. He knew it had been something with the fact that he was caught, but he was confused. 

Was it because of that or something different? Heeseung's mind flowed with thoughts and it made him frustrated.

At some point Heeseung decided to ask Jake about it. He was going to have to force it out of him. "Sim." Heeseung said in a deep voice, almost threatening tone. He leaned on the door frame of their bedroom and watched as Jake perked his head up and faced him. They made eye contact before Jake looked away.

Heeseung shut the door behind him before walking up to Jake and grabbing his wrist so he doesn't walk away. "Why are you avoiding me, what did I do." Heeseung said staring into Jake's eyes as the younger refused to look at him. "Nothing, now let me go." Jake said as he tried moving his arm away. "Jake stop lying to me, what the fuck did I do!" Heeseung yelled getting a bit angry.

Jake sighed and stared down before speaking. He hesitated but he knew that there was no way out of this. "When I caught you.. who..?" Jake mumbled.

Heeseung raised an eyebrow thought for a second. "Who...? Did I do it off of..?" Heeseung said. He knew what Jake was asking but the way.. he worded it was weird. 

Jake nods and keeps staring down, refusing to look up at his boyfriend. Heeseung noticed this and grabbed the youngers chin, lifting it up so they could make eye contact. "You baby, who else would I do it towards?" Heeseung said, reassuring Jake.

<3

Jake and Heeseung have been healing both. There thoughts clean and free from hurting, yelling at each other or at themselves. Jake hasn't been ignoring Heeseung anymore and Heeseung had finally took a break from work, giving his undivided attention to his boyfriend who needed it more than anyone.

Of course they both had moments where times they would get mad at each other and Jake would snap back. But Heeseung tried his best not to hit or physically hurt Jake in any way. 

Times like this where he tried to heal Heeseung would just walk away so he wouldn't do anything stupid. 

He couldn't allow himself to hurt Jake like he did a couple weeks ago. It hurt Heeseung and he knows it hurt Jake also. 

Heeseung was on the couch in their living room watching Tv. Out of nowhere Jake walked into the living room and sat next to Heeseung. "What are you doing?" Jake says while looking at his boyfriend. Heeseung looks at Jake and puts his full attention on his lover. "What does it look like?" Heeseung asked smiling softly.