You're not special || Heejake

12

It's been one hell of a week for Jake. He was not only petrified and scared of Heeseung but it was official. That either Jake was either going to break up with him or they both were going to seek help, especially Heeseung.

Jake wanted to know his boyfriends feelings and what went through his mind while he was inflicting harm on him, he wanted to know the answer on why he was hurting him. He knew that there was no way that Heeseung had a decently good reason to try and kill him. 

Jake thought about asking for a break or to just break it off completely but he knew that he himself would hurt too badly and he wasn't ready for that step in his life yet. He was trying his best to stay healthy so he had no choice but to stay sane and avoid things that would hurt him more.. and that's exactly what he did. Not only did he avoid Heeseung but he didnt even look at him, he didn't sleep by him, nothing. 

Jake refused to do anything for Heeseung almost as he lost all respect and care he had holding on for him. Of course Jake still cared for Heeseung but he had no choice but to avoid him after what he did to him, he felt as if it was the right thing to do. 

Jake was scared, traumatized and had a thought that Heeseung might do it again. No, he didn't want to die, but he wanted his suffering to end, he wanted to stop feeling like shit. For a while he didn't know what was causing it but hes came to the conclusion that it's Heeseung's fault on why hes been feeling like this for so damn long. 

<3

Jake was making dinner for both Heeseung and himself. He hasn't made dinner for the both of them since the ..incident. Heeseung hasn't even bothered to talk to him or ask what was wrong because he knew exactly what was wrong and he knew he fucked up entirely. 

Of course he wanted to fix what he did but he didn't know how to, he didn't even know how to approach the situation. He didn't even know why he did it, he didn't know if the situation was even fixable.

He just.. Didn't know.

Jake heard the front door open and he gulped, letting out a soft but a tired sigh. Was he scared of his lover now, yes. But he knew he had to speak to him about this someday and today he was ready, it was the day. 

Heeseung walked into the kitchen and saw Jake. He froze for a second before backing away and slowly walking out of the kitchen. "Wait-" Jake hesitantly yelled. Heeseung once again froze and looked back at Jake. "Hmm?" 

"Uh- I made dinner.. for both of us.." Jake said awkwardly as he fidgets with his hands and fingers. Picking at the skin around his nails. Heeseung noticed this and sighed. He knew Jake had a bad habit of doing that when he was nervous. 

Heeseung walked up to Jake slowly and nodded. "Uh.. okay.. do you want me to set the table .. or get drinks?" Heeseung said as he softly moved Jake's hands away from the picking. 

Jake looked up at his lover with shocked eyes but mentally thanked him for doing that. He didn't do it very often only when he was extremely nervous or more say, scared. Hes tried breaking the habit multiple times but he physically couldn't.

"Uh..I already got the table.. you can get the drinks..- if you want" He replied awkwardly. Heeseung nodded and got drinks. "What do you want to drink?" Heeseung gulped and opened the fridge. "Do we have any.. Pepsi left?" Jake said as he looked at his boyfriend and saw his nod. "I want Pepsi.." 

Heeseung nodded and got drinks for both of them and set them on the table. They both sat down and started eating. It was awkward at first but eventually both of them spoke up.