I was officially done with my "What is love?" essay. Emily looked it over, and expressed her excitement to see my essay published on my Medium account. I intend to publish it once I receive Professor Lambert's critique.
In the meantime, I was planning on going home to visit my parents for the summer. I was grateful to be done with my undergrad and graduating soon. I was still debating whether or not to continue on to grad school. But I'll have to pray on it and see what Yah wants me to do.
I was startled hearing the knocks coming from my door. No idea who could be knocking on my door at almost ten PM. But I got up and opened it.
"Sorry, Jay. You were probably asleep, eh?" Drew gave me a sheepish smile.
"Don't worry. I wasn't asleep. I'm actually wide awake right now." I laughed as I pointed to the cup of black tea I was having.
"All day, every day. Get a life, bro."
I let him enter my room and he sat on my bed.
"You can't sleep?" I asked carefully, not wanting him to be pressured into telling me what made him look upset despite his smile.
"Yeah." He laid down on my bed with his hands behind his head.
In the same position as him, I laid down next to him gazing at the ceiling.
"Oh, that's cool."
I knew he meant the glowing Bible verses I set up on my ceiling. Everyone keeps forgetting I have verses decorating my ceiling until they look up. From 1 Peter 5:7, "Throw all your anxieties upon Him, because He cares about you." And parts of Jeremiah 31:3, "I love you with an everlasting love; this is why in My grace I draw you to Me."
"This is a new one, huh?" He was talking about 1 Corinthians 13:13.
"Yep. This essay I wrote about love inspired me to put it up there." Then I read the verse aloud. "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
"Amen." Drew whispered. "And love is so hard."
I lifted a curious eyebrow without asking any questions.
"I love Gabe so much. How is that wrong? Why is it wrong? Why can't we just stay together?"
I heard the break in his voice and it hurt my heart. Placing my arm around him, I gave him a side hug. He moved closer to me and heaved a heavy sigh.
"I don't want to break up. But we can't stay together anymore."
"What happened?"
"Holy Spirit conviction, that's what happened.
I thought I was in the right. I thought we were fine. I thought we were good. But no. I was reminded of one thing: only God is good. And I can't claim to worship Him while making my own rules and ignoring what He has to say.
It's too much. I don't know what to do anymore. Even kissing him feels different now. It's like I know I shouldn't, but I still do it. I want to please Jesus, but it's so hard. Am I supposed to give Gabe up? I don't know if I can do it."
Suddenly I heard sniffing and knew that he was crying. I just wrapped my arms all the tighter around him to let him know he wasn't alone.
"You're going through so much right now, Drew. If I could take the burden off of you, I would. But this is your cross to bear. But remember what Yahusha said: 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.'"
"I remember from the Bible study we had. It didn't all click back then."
"Sometimes it takes a while."
He nodded.
When he fell asleep, I carefully removed my arm from under him in order to get up. I got my phone and saw a text from Gabe.
Gabe: he told me he was staying with you. I get it. I can't believe how hard this is going to be. I don't even know what I'm going to say to him when we see each other 💔
Me: He's asleep. I know it's going to be really hard bc you really care about each other. I'll be praying for you both ❤️🩹
Gabe: thanks, brother
YOU ARE READING
What is Love?
RomanceImagine never having a crush, but being constantly exposed to the romantic feelings of others around you. Obviously, you're not the weird one for never being interested in romance. Right? It doesn't mean you don't love people. Or is love and romanc...
