Broken French

Chapter 5: Patching the Leak

(He'll probably fire me in the morning. Way to go, Wilson. Lost yourself two jobs in one week.) My dinner with Micheal had been going so well... until you shut down, and we got into an argument. "Mr. Jadin... I'm sorry." "Thank you. If only you saying that would change the situation." "It could if you would just listen. But you don't want to." I stand to go. Micheal looks at me, pained. "Before you go, just know- this isn't about you. It's me." "Well, that only confuses me more. If I'm doing well as Zoe's nanny, why send me away?" "Because the better you are, the more... conflicted I feel. Please, go." I turn and stomp off the deck, tears stinging at my eyes. In need of some comfort food, I head to the galley, where I find Elijah. "Taja! Didn't expect to see you here. What happened to dinner with Mich?"

"It was going well until his mood turned, and he asked me to leave. I think this might be my last night on the boat." "I can't see you saying anything to him over dinner that would make him go so far as to let you go." I look down at the floor. "I think my fate was sealed before I even left Baton Rouge." "What do you mean?" I take a deep breath. "Micheal and I... we met before, by complete chance. Just a week ago, actually, in Baton Rouge. He invited me to have a few drinks together. I had no idea he was my new boss until I meet him." Elijah lets out a low whistle and scratches his head. "Wow. And I'm guessing there was chemistry?" "Definitely. I haven't hit it off with someone like that in years." "Really? He was that chatty with you. Wow." I shake my head. "You can't possibly think he's acting out because he's... into me?" "I mean, it's been quite a while since I've seen Micheal express interest in anything like that. But once upon a time... you definitely would have been his type."

My stomach flip-flops as I suddenly consider all of Micheal's intense looks in a new light. "He's very ethical, of course, but he's probably worried that- well no. I shouldn't say." "What?" "I don't want to speculate. But I do want you to stay on this ship. I can't stop you from guessing what's holding Mich back." "Will you at least tell me if I get it right?" "It would be cruel not to." I nod my head, preparing myself for his little game. "Here goes nothing. Can I get a clue to start?" Elijah leans in, speaking in a lowered voice as if someone might overhear. "Hint: it's not about you. It's about something in his past." "His past... is it his wife? Is he still mourning her?" Elijah shakes his head. "Not quite. When I say Micheal has an expressed interest in anyone in a while, I mean since before his wife passed. He and Evangeline got married young. He loved her, but they had fallen out of love before she died. He's not grieving anymore. He's moved on... but his heart is just... shut."

(I need to really think about this.) "Hmm. Is he closed-off because... he wants to protect Zoe?" (I definitely wish my mom had thought twice before getting remarried to my stupid stepdad.) "Here's the thing. I reckon he thinks that it's about Zoe. But that's not necessarily the case. Zoe has never met her mom, but Micheal... he knows what loss feels like. And I think he would do anything to protect his heart from feeling that again." "So you're saying that if he feels any chemistry with me-" "He'll go to any length to push you away." I shake my head. "It doesn't matter anyway. I doubt I could change his mind at this point. I might as well resign." Elijah puts his hand on my shoulder. "Don't rush into anything. There's nothing to say he's made up his mind either way." "Still, I'd better go pack my bags. Ten to one, I'm leaving tomorrow." "Taja?"

Zoe stands in the doorway to the galley, her eyes wide and distressed. She's clutching the stuffed cow I gave her tightly to her chest. "Zoe! What are you doing up?" "I was hungry, and wanted a snack, and then I came in and heard... Are you really leaving?" "Don't worry about it, sweetheart. We are having a grown up conversation. Why don't we get you back to bed?" I take her hand and usher her out the galley, mouthing 'thank you' to Elijah on my way. I get Zoe all tucked into bed and sit on the edge to wish her a goodnight. "Taja... why do you want to leave?" I look down. "Zoe... I don't want to." "Then you will stay!" "No, honey. It's your Papa's choice, not mine." Zoe sits up. "So Papa is making you go. He is... how do you say... firing you?" "He's not- it's complicated, you know?"