Eleutheromania (GXG)

15: Here Isn't Where I Want to Be

Tay's POV:
Getting ready for work was tense. I was trying my best to remain neutral for Race's sake, but my insides were caving. I couldn't take my mind off of the previous night. Sure, he was just trying to frighten us, but it worked. I didn't like that. I stared blankly at my reflection. I literally looked like the definition of crisis. My: hair wasn't straightened, eyes were left naked, lips weren't painted deep, gothic red. Nothing. Even Race noticed. She wrapped her arms around me from behind, kissing my shoulder. I felt her breath behind my ear.
"Don't think so much, okay?"
I nodded, smiling ever so slightly. She was right. If I was ever going to get anything done, I couldn't ponder Gary's child play. I ran a hand through my ebony, tangled waves before finally exiting the temporary bathroom. I stopped at the night stand to grab my purse while Race headed out to start the car.
Pens. Lip balm. Pepper spray. Pocket knife. Notepad. Everything was in place. I slugged on the bag then dashed to catch up with my girlfriend.
•••••••••••••••••
Cold. My office was the equivalent of a meat locker inside of a restricted tundra. I swore under my breath, wishing I had brought a jacket. It was hard to even focus on the graphic designs I had for the characters of a new game. Nothing got in between me and my designs. Running my black coated nails across my palm, I stood up and walked out of my office to go find Gary and ask if he could turn on some heat. As I walked through the other departments to reach his office, I noticed how normal their temperatures were. Bullshit. I turned back around, storming back to my office. I didn't have any questions or requests for that sack of shit. It was very, very clear that he was just taking the piss out of me. I wasn't going to request something that he didn't want me to have to begin with. A few goosebumps wouldn't kill me. I hummed a few anime themes of which I didn't know the lyrics to keep me calm. As I was in the middle of a very aggressive humming cover of Death Note's theme, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I paused my soft head banging to see who wanted me. I smiled in relief that it wasn't Gary.
"Chris," I beamed. "What can I help you with?" I asked my quiet coworker. I waited patiently as he sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.
"Uh, yeah. So... I was just wondering if maybe you had any extra copy paper over here? I need to scan off some papers related to some formatting and stuff."
I nodded, reaching under my desk and feeling around for a pack of paper.
"Here." He walked away, mumbling little self disciplinary phrases. I shook my head. The kid was too hard on himself.
I continued to work. And work... And just a bit of work. I worked so hard and much that I had completely finished the characters. Sketch? Complete. Computer upload? Complete. Gridding? Complete. Animating? Complete. Color and color scheming? Complete. Everything down to their movements and characteristics. All they really needed were voice actors. I peered over at the time in the bottom right corner of the screen. 1 PM. Damn, I was quick. I definitely needed to take a break and unglue my eyes from the computer. I wheeled myself in my chair over to the mini fridge in my little section. I looked inside for whatever looked edible. Most of it had dairy in it. I sighed. Nope. As I made my way back to my desk, I realized I didn't have much of an appetite anyway. How could I after last night's events? I grabbed my earphones and jammed the plug into the sound jack. I browsed a bit before settling on some Alt-J. I rested my head against the back of my chair and let the lyrics penetrate my mind.
A few minutes in, I felt someone touching me. I opened my eyes, looking in their direction. Race. She was grinning at me. I removed my earphones and immediately fell into her arms. I needed her. I needed her so much. I just wanted to go home. But what even was home? A motel room? Gary's house? None of the above. We didn't have a home. We had living spaces. We crashed like a thirty year old stoner with a mouth stuffed with excuses and unfulfillable promises. It was sad, annoying almost. We weren't even broke. We weren't broke at all. We just wanted something that didn't dance on the line of cruel and unusual punishment. We could afford a mobile home, but with our paranoia, there's no way either of us could take that. Like what if Bigfoot jumped out and rolled our metallic, grungy shelter into a lake or something? I wasn't taking any chances.
"Hey.." She whispered."I've done all that I could do today." She looked over me at my station. "We both have. I say we clock out and head back to the motel..." I held onto her tighter. I didn't care about our lack of home when those words left her mouth. I just wanted to be alone with her. "Now, as far as I know, Gary's taken his lunch with his girlfriend. We can just clock out and get the secretary to explain to him that there's little to no work left for the day. How does that sound?" I whimpered into the fuzziness of her shirt. She rubbed my back, soothingly. Letting go, she bent down to get my bag. I followed her out of my department and into the lobby. I watched as she approached the front desk.
"Hi. Uh, I need an early release sheet for us to sign. Names are Race and Tay Ramos," she spoke quickly. I felt her squeeze my hand tighter. I squeezed back. I needed her.
•••••••••••••••••••••••
Fuck, the softness of the bed against my exhausted body felt amazing. I lay there in just my underwear waiting for Race to finish using the restroom. I looked at the ceiling.
(Smut Warning. Oops.)
We both needed to take our mind off of things.. The only way we could really really do that was by getting intimate. It was distracting, loving, safe and fun for both of us. I unhooked my bra and slipped out of my undies. I balled them up into a little bundle and pushed them under the bed. I couldn't allow her to see them. I settled under the blankets, awaiting her entrance. After about three more minutes, she walked in. She slid in next to me without a word. I allowed her to hold me. It took her a bit before she noticed my lack of coverage.
"Are you... nude?"
I turned over, placing a hand on her chest. I felt my anxiety grip at my lungs and vocal chords.
"I'll get dressed if you w--" She crashed her lips into mine. The warmth... Finally. I methodically slipped my tongue into her mouth, letting it dart around pleasurably. We made out for awhile before things finally escalated. I helped her remove her clothes and undergarments before climbing on top of her. She flipped us over, pinning me down.
"No."
I raised an eyebrow. Fear burned inside of me. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to be sexual. Understandable. It's been awhile.
Race softened when she saw my expression of uncertainty, confusion and a failed attempt at hiding the hurt. "Tay... Babe, I said no because you know I'm a top," she smirked. I almost responded but decided against it when I felt a finger slide into me. I gasped. It felt amazing but ...
"No lubrication?" I asked, puzzled.
She looked up at me and laughed. "Have you felt yourself lately? You're really wet. You're already lubed up." I smiled down at her, nodding in understanding. She didn't hesitate to restart the treatment. Eventually, there were two digits pumping in and out, hitting my sweet spot each time. I was moaning shakily at each touch. She paused, placing her face next to my opening.
"May I?"
I nodded. I knew she loved being down there. I had no idea why. I guess she just really liked pleasing me. Her tongue swept over each and every little part. I nearly screamed when she took my clitoris into her mouth. I couldn't even think. Great. I was finished in mere seconds.
Of course, I couldn't and wouldn't leave her hanging. I crawled back onto her, my liquid dripping on her leg every now and then.
I gave her the same treatment but I added a bit of dirty talk and curls here and there to make her even weaker.

It was amazing. The first time in months. It had simmered down to our favorite part. The air was musky and the bed damp with our sweat. We cuddled, slightly sticking together. I placed a kiss on her lips. We made eye contact. I could tell we were both much too tired to take a shower so we lay there basking in each other's love and longing before I finally fell asleep.
•••••••••••••
I hadn't taken a nap since early high school. I just sucked at taking them but this time my body wanted to go back to those days. When I woke up, Race was no longer beside me. My heart sped up. Then I smelled food. I looked around, she was standing on the other side of me with a tray of food.
"Celery casserole for you, my dear and for me, a giant ass bowl of Mac and Cheese," she announced. I giggled at her imitation of a well known speaker. I patted the spot next to me. I wanted to enjoy my food in the company of my significant other.
We ate and joked and flirted. It felt right. It felt amazing. We had finally finished our supper, placing the plastic tray on the floor. I moved closer to her, nuzzling her neck. Abruptly, we heard a phone vibrating on the night stand. My cell phone. Race snatched it off the mini table and checked the caller ID
"Who is it?" I asked nervously.
"My... My mom?"
We exchanged glances.
"Why is she calling me?" I asked.
Race shrugged, turning my phone on its face. I raise an eyebrow.
"What?" She asked. I continued to look at her. "What?" She repeated more forcefully. I shook my head, laying back down. "Did I do something wrong?"
I closed my eyes, seeing little broken shards of memories. I bit my lip, preparing to speak. Clearing my voice of any distinguishable emotion, I began. "You didn't do anything wrong... It's just that we haven't seen or talked to her in years, Race. Don't you think the least we could do is answer her call? For all we know it could be an emergency."
"It better be an emergency. She hasn't tried to contact us since graduation!"
"Maybe it's because you pushed her away and told her to 'let us handle it'. Are we handling it, Race? Is staying in a motel to escape from our already temporary shelter 'handling it'?"
She looked away, leaving the air thick with a diversity of feelings and ideas. After awhile I heard her sigh.
"... You're right."
I looked up at her.
"You're absolutely right. But right now we need to focus on each other. That's the entire reason we're here remember? To get away for a bit. To feel safe together. We can just as easily ring her in the morning." She shifted down a bit, wrapping her arms around me.
"I love you, you know that?"
I nodded, turning to face her and nuzzle her sternum area. She was so warm. I needed that. I felt her place a gentle kiss upon my head before both of our breathing patterns began to change into slow, drawn out breaths & the night slipped away from underneath us.

Author's Note:
I didn't really make an update. I just added more because the ending just seemed choppy, anticlimactic and weird and stuff. So yeah. Bear can update and fix stuff later but until then: farewell ✌🏾