Complete

New Beginning

    Sanaa in media

Breathe. You just have to remind yourself to breathe. To exhale the negative thoughts and to just relax. I nervously pull at my sleeves and twirl my fingers into my frizzled curls. The small cable Tv to the left of me sitting on our kitchen island is broadcasting the weather and it shows no sign of a clear sky. However, the rainy days aren't unlikely in Seattle.

''Stop with the fidgeting," he nudges me "you  given' me chills," my brother, Mikael, says to me nonchalantly and turns back to his bowl of cereal. I continue to look down, I don't have the energy to argue with him. Not getting the amount of sleep I probably should have the night before has left me completely exhausted. I honestly have no one to blame but myself for the bags that now accessories my bare face.

 "Good morning!" my mother booms as she quickly walks into the kitchen, her heels clicking the floor. I swear she is the only person on earth who can be up by 5:30 in the morning and be completely cheerful and dressed in her Sundays best always putting her most impressive put forward. "Sanaa, are you ready, sweetie?" she asks with the proudest grin.

Looking towards my beaming Mother I smile and nod and then slowly break away from her lingering stare. She's able to read anyone's behavior especially mine, and I would much rather her not be aware of my current emotions. The day my acceptance letter came from UCLA, I was beyond thrilled-- over the moon with Joy. Everyone told me it be a poor choice to go out of State, but still, It validated  all my hard work. The late nights, the missed parties-- all of it, validated. The day for me to leave my home, the only place I have ever known, has come-- and I'm just...scared.

A chill rushes down my spine and it causes me to tense up clenching my fingers. I grab my cup of tea stirring it before taking a small sip. My mother heels click up behind, she softly places her hand on me gently rubbing my shoulder in small circles, "I'm very, very, proud of you, Sanaa," she sniffles, "immensely proud of you" her ruby red lips curving into a small smile.

Mikael scoffs. The sound of disgust catches my ear and I look towards hi-- a scowl set in his face. His brown skin almost red. I cough to clear my throat "is there something you want to say to me?'' I question his offensives, uncalled for hatefulness.

Turning from his brightly lit phone, Mikael looks up and shakes his head, "nah, I aint got nothing to say," he shrugs and stands to his feet grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl separating us "not a damn thing," biting the apple he turn to walk away back up the stairs to the room.

''Language!" My mother shouts up at him and shakes her head, "dont worry about him," she waves his behavior off "its not about him right now," she adjusts the collar of her maroon dress before pivoting on her heels to make her way outside, "ill be in the car when you're ready, dont keep me waiting to long, Dear." My Mother strides away.

"uhm, I think im just going to check on him real quick..just give me a minute I want to talk to him." I shout to her as I  move  from the kitchen island and softly pad my way upstairs to his room. There shouldn't be anything left unsaid before my departure. Looking into his room covered in his many sports accomplishment, I see my brother  tossing a baseball in the air catching it and  repeating the motion. Completely lost in thought he fails to notice my arrival. So I lightly tap on his door ever so slowly entering through the frame.

Mikael turns to glare and yet again my ears are met with an other scoff. "what do you?" He contines tossing the ball.

" A word," I come in and sit at the foot of his bed, "Mikael... talk to me."

"What is there to talk about?" Mikael ceases to throw the ball upon catching it and sits upfolding his arms tightly across his chest. "Really..  go. Mom is waiting for you, so go, or dont, I dont care just get out of my face" he spits venomously.