فيزا ☘️
Okay, so, no updates from the western front ... I mean, from the Marriott Hotel, thus far. The last highlight of my Sean scavenger hunt thing was that I bumped into Layne and hit my shoulder against his chest, that we had hugs, that he tried to lift my spirits by telling me that he had missed me and my red hair too, and that I ran away from him as soon as Demri approached us and blinked my way in a 'seductive' manner, seductive for a woman in a body of a twelve year old at least ... but besides that, nothing new in this house. Just the good ole traumas and a bunch of impressive, fast as heck sprints because today, more than any other day, I ain't having anyone's bullshit but my own.
I tried to live up to the narration... I mean, delusion of my old diary, took Layne's playful words quite literally, and went to look for Sean in the public restrooms area, hoping that I'd find him there queuing up or shooting drugs on the sink. Just like the night we first met. But man, I couldn't either find him at the ladies' restroom (because y'know, he sometimes forgets to read signs before entering places, causing great disgust around himself), nor at the gents'. And as of right now, I think I've quite ran out of places to go and search for him. Not so deep in my heart, I fully believe that he ain't at the hotel to even begin with, thus I'm wasting my time looking for him here... and that's why you can now spot me raising a white flag in that regard for good. Not really raising a white flag, because I'm quite hard to surrender, but more like glumly walking barefoot from the common restrooms to my room. I need to retreat for a while and cool down a bit after I've had to have that face to face with Cuntrell, and that weird as heck exchange of looks with my best dude friend's girlfriend ... and I also need to wear more comfortable shoes and grab my Alice in Chains all access pass, if I want to attend tonight's gig at the Trocadero as I think I do. Maybe I'll have to grab my drumsticks and my wrist warmers too, because there's a high chance that I'll have to fill in for Sean if nobody finds him within the next half an hour, aka the time inbetween this very moment and the moment the gang will have to hop on the tour bus and drive to the selected venue of tonight... but I suppose I won't get anything but a headache, in the foreseeable future. Why? Because today is bad luck day, and the fact that it looks like I've lost the badge to my hotel room is the BLATANT proof of that. It's the blatant proof that I shouldn't have even come here today. It's the proof that all odds are stacked against me tonight... and that I can't do anything to change my bad, bad fucking luck.
I can't go downstairs and ask the receptionist for a duplicate of my badge because the odds that she might mistake me as a terrorist (or as a hooker, or as a terrorist hooker, AGAIN), and hence call the cops on me, are sky high. And given that this is no Seattle, but Philadelphia, and that I can't count on my father in law to come, protect me, clear my ass and explain himself on behalf of me in front of the sheriff, I have to be real careful with whatever I do or say. I have to be careful with simply existing as a Middle Eastern woman in this hotel built on stolen land, and very sadly, I know it. If that wasn't already enough for me to bear, and trust me it really is ... I can't go downstairs from here without risking to bump again into Cuntrell, and hence resuming our one sided, pathetic as fuck bitch 'fight' from where we left it hanging on before I eventually ran away from him. Going downstairs from here would also mean either bumping into that creepy old fart Mark Frangipan, or that other horny as fuck, creepy, curly haired freak Mike... and trust me, I don't want this or that. Just like I don't want to be misunderstood and mistook for something I'm not by the receptionist. She's already having to deal with the manager of a rock band talking about a badly fucked up hotel room, and I don't wanna give her any more worries for tonight. I don't want anything, really. I just want peace of mind. I just want Sean, but it looks as though as having him is no option, while having just about anyone else but him is a canon event. But I'm so done with everyone's bullshit right now, that spending the rest of the night stuck on the second floor of this hotel with nowhere else to go seems like a pretty fucking, good idea. At least compared to the idea of walking one step backwards or forwards, and going back to these fucking sharks who are dying to get me trapped, in their own respective ways.
